Born with a Tail...

at long last, they are gone!

2009-04-26T16:51:00.004-05:00

My awful neighbors finally moved out. No more trash in the carport or above ground pool in the summer, yay! The owner of the house told me he decided to sell the house because he was afraid that if he told them they had to move out they might burn the place down. That is just great. I though it was because the teenage daughter had a baby so they needed a bigger place.
In any case, they are officially gone and I am hoping some nice, sane people buy the house and move in. I even took down most of the fence!

holy crap, I did it!

2008-12-07T19:08:00.003-06:00

As most of you know, my ex-boyfriend The Musician has been living with me since last October (2007). I can definitely say that it has been more of a pain in my ass than anything else. It all started when I let him move in rent-free & in return he was supposed to help me around the house with some small and large projects including painting my three bedrooms. Bad idea, as you can imagine. At some point he did start paying me some rent money. By April of this year he had only gotten two of them painted; as a result of me constantly riding his ass. I finally freaked the fuck out because I wanted them done before my "thank god I quit that suck-ass state job" party in early May. He did a shitty job, never painted the third bedroom & complained the whole time. *sigh*
Long story short, he currently owes me over $800 in rent & bill money and I can't even count on him to buy toilet paper when we're one roll away from running out. Amidst all this, he still believes he can convince me to marry him one day. Uh, yeah that might just happen...when hell freezes over!
So today the straw finally broke the camel's back, although it has been in the process of breaking for a mighty long time. I calmly told him that I wanted him out by January 16, when my spring semester starts. WOOT! I can't believe it. Thank god for all my wonderful girlfriends who kept validating my reality and reminding me that I will never have another date as long as my ex-boyfriend is sleeping in the next bedroom. Ugh, co-dependency is a bitch y'all!

no more ex-boyfriends and I meant it!

2008-10-16T15:32:00.006-05:00

You may recall that I mentioned this summer that I was planning to meet an ex-boyfriend in Kauai. Well that turned into yet another disaster, go figure!

I have decided that my "recycling ex-boyfriends" phase is now officially over. They are usually our exes for a reason. In the immortal words of my friend M.P.L., "sex with exes is like eating your own vomit." Thankfully I did not put myself through that nasty experiment on my Hawaii vacation.

Here is a photo to illustrate what a child I was dealing with, a child who wore white linen pants. They don't even wear white linen pants on CSI Miami!

This guy was so obnoxious, at one point he actually joked that he is an "amateur gynecologist." Revolting!!! And to think, I had grand plans of finally getting some nookie in Hawaii, what was I thinking???

the fence is a reality!

2008-07-28T11:23:00.002-05:00

Check out the awesome neighbor blocker:

I think they will leave me alone now.

fence raising

2008-07-23T23:20:00.004-05:00

You may recall that I am not particularly fond of my next-door neighbors. The lady is always trying to talk to me, often walks around in a sports bra & cut-offs, the man (who sounds like Foghorn Leghorn) is always yelling at her and the18-year-old daughter (who seems very sweet, all things considered) has a new gangsta boyfriend every other week. Now they have a puppy that is cute as the dickens and I just know she's going to end up tied to a tree. Ergo, I have decided to erect a fence between our carports so I don't have to observe their nastiness every time I leave or come home or hang my laundry on the clothesline. I have all ready purchased all the necessary supplies. Stay tuned, pictures of said fence to follow soon.

here comes the onslaught...

2008-07-14T13:36:00.000-05:00

I'm voting Republican... (please note sarcasm)

2008-06-28T08:49:00.001-05:00

...and here's why you should too!

Updates...

2008-06-26T09:10:00.004-05:00

In case anyone is still reading this blog, I realize I have been away for quite some time. Here is the quick & dirty synopsis of my life updates: I quit that job that I've been bitching about for four years (WOO-HOO!!!), I'm back in graduate school full time and The Musician (remember, third time was not a charm?) is now living with me as my fully plationic roommate (!!!) I'm going to Hawaii in August for eleven days to hook up with yet another ex-boyfriend and as a result I started going to a "boot camp" class at 5:30 a.m. WTF??? Well, I've gained about 30 lbs. since starting meds and discovering I cannot eat gluten so I'm trying to shed a bit of that before hitting the beach...among other things.
So to brush up on my dating skills I went out on a semi-blind date Sunday evening. By "brush up" I mean I haven't been on a date in nearly two years...since my fiasco with The Musician to be exact. By "semi-blind" I mean I met him online so I had seen a photo, emailed and spoken on the phone a couple of times. It was awful. Here is how it went down, it was one of those *experiments* where I knew in five minutes that it was going to suck and I wanted to leave. I was actually considering excusing myself to go to the restroom & then sneaking out! The guy is just a dork, and he's a sexist dork at that. He actually told me that he dumped a girl he was dating because of the Way She Set the Table [his mother would be appalled]!!! Then he went on to say...drum roll please..."Chicks should know these things." O.M.G. What an idiot. That was within the first ten minutes and I just wanted to run the hell out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour & a half and let him talk AT me about all of his opinions on life and his lame rehearsed jokes that you can tell he has told a million times to everyone he knows. Things like, "I can tell you what's wrong with the world today, in fact I can sum it up on two words [pause for dramatic effect] boat payment!!!" Hahaha, much laughter ensues and I'm supposed to act amused. I wanted to throw up.
He actually said it was fun & he had a great time and asked if he could call me when he gets back from his vacation. He suggested that he could take me sailing, UGH! Hours on a boat alone with that guy sounds like a nightmare. Of course I said yes because I'm chicken. I just sent him a message via email asking not to contact me. So, there you have it. One of my best girlfriends gave me these awesome words from the wise:

"I have the great response for you: When he contacts you tell him you have to be honest, you didn't go to school to learn how to set tables correctly, as it rates extremely low on your list of need-to-know skills "for chicks" like you. You wouldn't want to subject him to that horror again, so you think its best to spare him from your savagery. You wouldn't want to get "dumped" for not measuring up on such critical areas of interest to him.
And then....block!
PS -Really?? a guy who compares dates to his mother?? Her forks may be in the right place, but I bet his mother gave a terrible blow job. Anyway, wouldn't want to subject him to anything his Mommy would disapprove of."

I heart her.

IKEA photos

2008-05-27T20:06:00.004-05:00

I still hate IKEA & Traemand but I think my kitchen looks great, if you can ignore the mess. Check out more photos on my flickr page.

I hate IKEA (& traemand)

2007-12-02T13:46:00.000-06:00

Let me tell you a little bit about what has now become My Kitchen Upgrade Nightmare of 2007. I bought the design & measure service through Traemand, the installation company that IKEA recommends and that calls itself "an IKEA Certified Cabinet Installation company." Initially I had a good experience with Traemand, everyone at the office was nice and professional, as was the guy who came out to measure my kitchen. The designer helped me make the best use of my kitchen space although I'm fairly certain she just threw the dimensions into a computer program that spit out a design. I purchased my cabinets mid-August, the IKEA experience was a bit less enjoyable. The folks working there are all very nice and helpful but I think I was in there about 3-4 hours just placing the order! Their computer system does not seem very user friendly. The rest of the process goes like this: you take the order printout to the cashier and pay for the entire order. Then you proceed to the carry out window where they collect the many boxes of your cabinets in parts, then you arrange with the home delivery people to schedule a date to have your doors delivered as those come from a separate warehouse. Then you fax the purchase order to the designer at Traemand. Thankfully she understood all the IKEA part number gibberish and realized that they had neglected to order a couple of cabinets and a few doors. So the next weekend I make the trek back out to the store to order the missing parts. Lo & behold two of the doors were already out of stock! So I got what I could and scheduled the installations.
Now for the fun part. The Traemand installation was a nightmare from the get-go. According to them, it was supposed to be a two-day job for two people per day. The first day, Tuesday, only one guy showed up, the same guy who measured my kitchen. He managed to assemble all of the cabinets but had to stop there, obviously it would have been awfully difficult to hang cabinets by himself. That afternoon I called the office and expressed my concern that the installation would not be finished in the time they said it would be, a woman there assured me they would be sending FOUR people out on Wednesday to finish the job. I reiterated that it was very important that they finish because I had a handyman coming out on Thursday to reconnect the plumbing and the range so I could go out of town on Friday. Surprise, surprise, on Wednesday morning only two guys showed up to finish the job. They assured me they would easily be able to finish the job. Unfortunately, one of the guys was not as much interested in working as he was in flirting with me about anything and everything he could possibly think of. This is a guy who drove up in a hoopdie with handcuffs hanging from the rearview mirror. At some point I went in to check on their progress and I happened to notice that they had not left enough room for the refrigerator. As a result, they had to remove and reinstall an entire wall of cabinets. In addition, they put several gouges in my new tile floor, badly scraped a corner down to the sheetrock, and installed an entire bank of cabinets and countertop that was actually too deep. There were a few issues that came up do to errors in either the design or measure process that the installers did not bother to consult with me about. By they time they left at 7:00 pm I was seriously starting to feel unsafe in my own home and I just wanted them OUT! Over the next couple of days I spoke with the owner of the company was was willing to make some corrections but he did say that scraped walls were just par for the course and that the grout must have "bubbled after the installation." He sent two installers back the following Monday to correct the installation errors and they were very helpful.
Now back to IKEA. Remember those two door that were "out of stock" back in August? Well guess what? They are STILL OUT OF STOCK. I just called the store and when the associate told me that I had to try very hard not to lose it. He gave me the 800 number to "IKEA Direct" and the associate there told me that those two doors will not be in stock any earlier than the fifth week of next year. Let me also add that I have been waiting to put on the door handles and drawer pulls until the doors to come in because the Traemand guys offered to throw that in with the door installation, it's not included but maybe they felt like they owed me one. So for over three months I have had to find creative ways to open my flush cabinets and drawers. If they came pre-drilled I would have put the stupid things on myself. However, I am not willing to risk ruining $120 doors.
I find all of this to be ridulous, unprofessional and unacceptable and I hope you will let my experience be your cautionary tale.

cutest video ever

2007-08-23T19:51:00.000-05:00

more police brutality

2007-06-07T16:28:00.000-05:00

In case you don't live here or you don't watch the news, a terrible thing happened in Austin last weekend. An APD officer shot a man twice in the back. I happen to work with the victim's mother and have known her for over three years. My heart aches so much for her and her family and I feel so helpless. I don't have children of my own but I know that no one thinks they will outlive their own. Please keep their family in your thoughts during this difficult time.
Thankfully, the justice department was already going to investigate APD for their history of using excessive force. I hope that this will stop things like giving cops promotions when they have a history of this kind of being violent.
Edit: Here is another good article from the Austin Chronicle. Also, the acting police chief Cathy Ellison states, "'One of the things in our policy is we don't shoot at fleeing suspects,' Ellison said. 'We don't shoot at cars, fleeing cars. You have to know that you're in danger for your life or someone else's. If it looks that someone is running away from you, then that person may not be a danger. So if it looks [like] he shot him in the back, and he's running away, then of course it looks inconsistent with policy'"
Good to know.

medical procedure

2007-05-31T15:33:00.001-05:00

This is what I had done on Tuesday, fun!

flashback

2007-05-15T10:39:00.000-05:00

you're welcome (my favorite part is the bartender)

office space, part deux

2007-05-09T16:10:00.000-05:00

The Office Space saga continues, I can't believe this is really happening. I actually have a meeting tomorrow with The Bobs!!!
"The purpose of the Focus Group will be to allow you to provide input on a number of topics that include your work environment, the overall direction of the Division, and the overall direction of the Agency. Your participation is a critical component in establishing open communication channels to understand employee issues and concerns. The sessions will be facilitated by Bob One and Bob Two of Deliotte Consulting and there is no advance preparation required. We look forward to your parcipation."
I wonder if I'm going to have to justify my job?

played like a sucka

2007-05-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

I guess I was overdue for a bit of boy drama. Before this past Saturday night it had been approximately seven months since I had any sort of male physical contact. I made plans with a male friend of mine who I have had a crush on (off & on) for the past four years. We get along great, have a lot of fun together and are obviously attracted to each other. Long story short, we ended up on my couch watching a movie and he finally put the moves on me. No, we didn’t do the nasty but he did spend the night…in my bed. The next morning we had coffee in bed which was very sweet. I made him breakfast and while I was scrambling the eggs he started telling me about some eighteen year old girl who likes him. Say what? That’s just rude! If I’m making you breakfast in my PJs, please don’t have the audacity to talk to me about some other chick. A little common courtesy would be much appreciated. I knew something was off so I text messaged him later in the day: “So do you make out with all your girlfriends when you’re feeling lonely?” His response: “Yes.” Good to know. I can tell you the make-out-session-out-of-convenience/desperation will not be happening again! I stopped doing that crap when I quit drinking. I sure do feel like a chump.

too funny

2007-05-04T09:41:00.000-05:00

More from the eighteen-year-old kid:
Date: Monday, April 16, 2007 1:22 PM
Subject: hey
Message: hey just saw some of ur pics and wow ur sexy as hell...nice body girl so ur sexy ass got aim or msn?

I could have given birth to this kid.

the male privilege checklist

2007-04-26T10:34:00.000-05:00

Food for thought.

cat trick

2007-04-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

Rufus rules, just watch the video evidence, sorry the quality is so crappy, I'm just learning how to use this thing:

wtn, pt. 3

2007-04-21T19:52:00.000-05:00

It just keeps getting better and better! You'll notice they have added a dish, an overturned loveseat (in front of the couch) and a desk in the carport. It's times like this a neighborhood association would come in handy!

the killers

2007-04-17T10:52:00.000-05:00

My sister and I went to see The Killers on Friday night and it was AWESOME!!! I am not a fan of "Sam's Town" but "Hot Fuss" is fantastic. I think we may have gotten a contact high from inhaling all the second hand skunk weed smoke! It was also fun when the 17-year-old boy asked me ("ma'am?") what song was playing because I was mouthing the words to "Running up that Hill" (shit I love that song!)

Let's see, I was thirteen when that song came out, he was negative five. There was also a drunk girl bingeing on popcorn, that was an interesting spectacle.

But the music was awesome and Brandon Flowers is a total hottie.

Free the West Memphis Three

2007-04-16T09:15:00.000-05:00

My sister and I recently watched the two Paradise Lost documentaries about three teenagers who were convicted in 1994 of murdering three little boys. There was no physical evidence linking them to the crimes; in fact there was more evidence pointing to the stepfather of one of the boys. I felt very moved by this story, it really made me question my beliefs about our justice system and capital punishment. It is truly terrifying to think that a person can be sentenced to death for being a goth or a metalhead or for practicing Wicca. If that's the case then I and most people I know are at serious risk.

2007-04-12T13:15:00.000-05:00

I just got this message on Friendster from an EIGHTEEN year old boy:
Subject: wow
Message: wow no way ur as old as u say in ur profile...u look amazing...sexy as hell
ps nice profile pic

HILARIOUS!!!

interesting article

2007-04-10T08:43:00.000-05:00

If you're mentally ill like I am and you chronically quit your meds, you may be interested in this article.

white trash neighbor, part deux

2007-04-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

Not to be outdone by the Couch On The Patio, may I present to you the White Trash Above Ground Pool that makes its appearance every spring. Beautiful!

Rufus, R.I.P.

2007-04-06T12:17:00.000-05:00

Last night I made the very sad and horrible decision to euthanize my beloved cat Rufus. Thankfully my mom and my sister were there with me. As some of you know he has been struggling with various health problems for the past couple of years. First he was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, then liver disease, then Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (enlarged heart) and finally kidney disease. He was very ill twice last year and somehow miraculously pulled through both times. Unfortunately this week he was just too sick. I did everything I could to save him including acupuncture, Chinese herbs, syringe feeding, subcutaneous fluids and tube feeding but he continued to get worse, not better. I decided that he didn't need to suffer any longer and I really believe Rufus made the decision for me.

Rufus has been my very special companion for over twelve years, I have never known a cat like him. He really thought he was a dog, I even called him "Puppy-Kitty." He would even sit for a treat, thankfully I captured it on video before he got ill. My friend Mary said that even though she doesn't believe in reincarnation, she thinks Rufus will come back as a dog.

Please say a little prayer that his little Puppy-Kitty spirit is being taken care of.

My Life in Office Space

2007-04-02T18:15:00.000-05:00

There is going to be a "Bob" infiltrating our organization. Rumor has it they're paying him $250k...about $125 an hour. That is a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS people. Yes, that was me e-yelling. Oh yes and did I mention they created three new division and posted three new division manager positions, with pay ranges up to $100k per year ($50 an hour)? Meanwhile they can't seem to find the money to hire one measly receptionist for our very large division. Guess who is still covering the front desk. Fucking Lovely.

"To help us with these changes, we have brought Mr. R from Deloitte Consulting on board as our Change Management Strategist. Mr. R has a tremendous amount of experience, with over 30 years in process improvement and change management, in both the private and public sector. His role will be to monitor our projects, identify any changes those projects will bring about and help us prepare and work through them [i.e. 'cutting expenses by downsizing and outsourcing']. Mr. R will be with us for 12 months.
We all know some innovations are small: like new letterhead [you mean 9.45 mb letterhead that you outsourced?]; others a little bigger, such as new policies. All these changes impact the great people in this agency. Mr. R's role will be to help us all during these initiatives. He will be meeting with people to learn about our agency and how it operates so that he can give us the best advice possible."

white trash neighbor

2007-03-25T21:11:00.000-06:00

So this is what I see when I look out my front window or walk out my front door. Ain't it purty?

celiac disease

2007-03-15T09:13:00.000-06:00

I have just been diagnosed with celiac disease: "What Happens With Celiac Disease: When individuals with CD ingest gluten, the villi, tiny hair-like projections in the small intestine that absorb nutrients from food, are damaged. This is due to an immunological reaction to gluten. Damaged villi do not effectively absorb basic nutrients -- proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals, and, in some cases, water and bile salts. If CD is left untreated, damage to the small bowel can be chronic and life threatening, causing an increased risk of associated disorders -- both nutritional and immune related."
This is the third time in less than five years that I have been diagnosed with a serious, chronic illness for which there is no cure and that requires a lifetime of vigilant maintenance. I feel just like I did when I first got sober: sad, angry, lonely, grief-stricken, afraid...it feels so unfair because I feel as though I have already given up so much.
I have always been the odd one out, and now I have evn one more strike against me. Excuse me while I feel sorry for myself.

I like being threatened with immediate termination

2007-03-08T15:37:00.000-06:00

Q: I like to surf the Internet throughout my lunch break, which is 15 minutes long. Isn’t this OK? It is incidental to the job. I don’t have to do any work when I’m at lunch.

A: No, it is not OK to surf the Internet during your break because that would not be a minimal use. Using the Internet for a personal use (or talking on the phone for a personal reason or sending personal emails) for 15 minutes is too long to be a minimal amount of time. In this case, it doesn’t matter if the use would be incidental or non-disruptive, because it does not meet the minimal use test.

The general rule of thumb is that if you spend five minutes or more on a personal email, personal phone call or personal Internet use, you have used it too long. Your use may no longer pass the minimal use test.

Remember also that personal use can be minimal, but it would still be prohibited if it didn’t pass the other two tests: it must also be incidental to the job and non-disruptive. You may have just started a personal telephone call, but if a co-worker or customer needs something, or a call comes in, you must leave your personal call and take care of those matters immediately. If you do not, your use will not be incidental to the job and may also be disruptive. An employee whose personal use of the Internet, telephones, or email does not pass all three tests for acceptable use is subject to disciplinary action, including immediate termination from employment.

Q: I work on the phones. During the time in between calls, I like to email my friends back and forth. I don’t see what is wrong with this because I don’t have anything else to be doing and nobody can hear me, so it isn’t disruptive. Can I continue to use my email this way?

A: Emailing your friends throughout the day while waiting for phone calls to come in would not meet the minimal use test. This would be true if you surfed the Internet at these times or if you made personal calls at this time.

family photo

2007-03-08T15:33:00.000-06:00

The 80s were awesome.

It's that time of year again...

2007-03-01T15:14:00.000-06:00

Click here if you would like to support me in the Hill Country Ride for AIDS. Thanks!

ridiculous

2007-02-22T11:21:00.000-06:00

Recently seen in an email from upper management:
"It has been determined by xxx that unauthorized appliances in the work area create safety hazards and energy usage concerns...a long list of appliances are deemed "unauthorized" including space heaters, toasters, refrigerators, microwave ovens, coffee pots, fans and other such items. Any such appliance should be removed..."
So we can no longer have our coffee pots, however TVs at your desk are apparently acceptable. WTF???
Also, it has come to my attention that our security department has turned on "websense" to monitor our web usage. They are allegedly planning to run reports to show how much time we spend on the web and which sites we visit and send those reports to our management. They have already blocked "personal network storage sites" which means I cannot access sites like flickr and I can't see the photos on Go Fug Yourself. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they block our internet access all together. One of the reasons I work in a lower paying state job is the laid back work environment, including being able to email my friends and family during the downtime at work (of which there is plenty.) If they take that away I might as well go take more money to work in the private sector. If my job performance were being compromised by my web surfing then I might understand this, but I continue to be the highest performer on my team with statistics that border on ludicrous. I triple-dog-dare them to confront me with a report of my web-surfing, I will be right back in their face with the reports of my stats.

too funny

2007-02-16T16:38:00.000-06:00

love the fug girls

pet surgery

2007-01-02T14:04:00.000-06:00

In case you don't read my sister's blog, she recently posted about her cat getting surgery to repair her ACL. My dog had the surgery on Friday, here is a picture of his tragic Frankenleg.If you don't know what the ACL is, it stands for anterior cruciate ligament and you usually hear about really active humans rupturing theirs. Well, as we have learned, dogs and cats can rupture theirs too and apparently it's quite common. So common in fact that our pet insurance does not cover the ($1300) surgery within the first year of having a policy. Lovely.
Recovery time for a dog is twelve weeks, during which I have to severely limit his activity, confine him while I am gone and take him outside on the leash to go to the bathroom - no unsupervised outside time. This makes it difficult to coordinate with my other two dogs and the dog door. Plus he has to wear an e-collar for two weeks so he won't chew on the sutures. If I take it off of him for just a couple of seconds he goes right for the incision so he has to have it on at all times.I knew all of this was going to be difficult but I was not prepared for the nighttime. He has been very restless at night and is not sleeping well at all. The first night he barked at me from about 1am until 6am because he wanted to get in the bed with me. I tried everything to calm him down, I even got down on the floor and tried to sleep with him but nothing seemed to help. The next day I decided I had to take drastic action to make through the next twelve weeks. So I put my mattress on the floor so he can sleep with me, spoiled rotten dog. Now that is great in theory except that he is still restless, off and on all night he was banging around with the e-collar; bumping into me, the wall, the alarm clock and anything else that was in his way. Of course now he is sleeping peacefully and I am exhausted. I have more sympathy for all you mothers out there!

six weird things

2006-12-07T11:16:00.000-06:00

I got this from Ekki...According to the rules: each player of this game lists “six weird things about me.” People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own six weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I am terribly grossed out by fingernail and toenail clippings, I can't even stand to hear the sounds of clippers in a public place. I don't mind nails if they are clean and attached to your body.

2. I think slightly crooked or otherwise imperfect teeth are sexy.

3. I have an unnatural fear of clowns, slightly open closet doors and Under The Bed.

4. Some of the most impressive things I have seen include: elephants trying to mate, killer whales trying to mate and a toad taking a shit.

5. I was sober on my 21st birthday. If you know me you know why this is weird.

6. I still have my last "in case of emergency" cigarette in my kitchen drawer, I quite smoking over two years ago.

I'm only tagging Nappy, I don't think anyone else I know would appreciate being tagged.

back to the drawing board

2006-12-07T10:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, I am insane. I decided to repost an ad on a personals site, mixing it up a little and adding a funny picture. The day my ad went live an awesome guy sent me a message and we have been chatting online ever since. He seems really great and we have a lot in common...there is one thing I'm afraid could be a problem but I'm trying not to worry about it at this point since I haven't even met the guy yet. I don't even want to talk about it on here yet. Unfortunately the personals site tells you when the person was online last, for example: "within one day!" "within one hour!" "online now!" He and I have graduated to chatting via personal email so I know if he is on that site it is not to chat with me. My urge to cyberstalk is strong; who is he meeting on there for pete's sake? I am making up all kinds of stories in my head about the fabulous women he must be chatting with today since I haven't heard a peep from him since last night. Insane, I tell you!

As a side note, here is something I think no man should put in his personal ad: "I do have a fetish. I like to go up to women when I'm out and smell their hair...without getting caught. I sometimes get caught. If you catch me sniffing your hair, be gentle, I'm just smelling your hair, geez."
Btw, this was not written by the guy with whom I am chatting.

cat miracle

2006-11-08T15:32:00.000-06:00

First of all, I am sorry I have not been posting very frequently. For one, I have not had much to report but more relevantly I have been quite depressed and just haven't felt like it. I recently got on a new medication and it seems to be helping, I think I am finally climbing out of the black pit of despair I had fallen into. Thankfully, I even have some good news to report!

As some of you know, my cat Rufus has developed various health issues (hyperthyroidism and heart disease) and in June he got very sick with a serious liver infection. He recovered beautifully and I crossed my fingers that I would not have another pet emergency for a good, long while. Unfortunately, his liver issue flared up about two weeks ago. He quit eating on his own and for a week the vet was syringe and tube feeding him. The techs said when they put food in front of him he would gag at the smell of it. On the fifth day of this my vet said it might be time to think about euthanasia given his other health problems. I was absolutely not ready to make that decision because I did not believe it was time yet. He was too active and alert for me to consider taking his life. I have had this cat for nearly twelve years, since he was a kitten, and he is the coolest cat. I call him my puppy-kitty because he thinks he's a dog, sometimes he will even sit for a cat treat! Anyway, my animal loving mom found a holistic vet and I took him there a week after he stopped eating. The vet agreed that he was in "crisis" and the most important thing was to get him to eat. I liked her a lot; she had a very calming presence and was very patient. So she administered acupuncture and prescribed Chinese herbs in an attempt to stimulate his appetite. I couldn't believe the way he reacted to the acupuncture; he actually relaxed and looked as if he enjoyed it! For the rest of the evening my mom and I offered him all sorts of different foods hoping something would be appetizing, he turned up his nose at various kinds of wet and dry cat food along with tuna, turkey, chicken, ham and beef. We kept putting a little bit of wet cat food in his mouth and he would eat it begrudgingly. However, around 9:30 that night he actually ate a little bit of food off the plate on his own. We thought it was a gigantic victory! I continued to feed him like that the next morning and by that afternoon I found him sitting at his bowl eating his regular dry food as if nothing was wrong. HOLY SHIT! I swear it's like a miracle. If any of you pet lovers out there are looking for an alternative to your current vet, email me and I will send you the information about my new favorite vet.

a short lived affair

2006-10-04T11:34:00.000-05:00

Well after two months of dating The Musician I called it off on Monday night. I have to say, the decision was a very hard one because I was not mad at him and he was treating me very well. The problem was very simple, he just was not doing it for me. The magic wasn't there and I can tell you that if it is not there in the first couple of months, it's never going to be there. I'm very sad about it because I wanted so badly for it to work. It makes it even harder because he keeps telling me how much he loves me, how much he's always loved me and how he will always love me. Argh. I am afraid that I will never meet someone who love and accept me as much as he does and that is a sad prospect. However, I cannot stay with someone who is not the right guy for me. Wish me luck!

relief, part deux

2006-08-31T09:58:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report that I think Crystal was right, some good old-fashioned sex (finally!) did help with the anxiety. That along with a little nudge from modern pharmaceuticals and the guru Dr. Telch. I have been mostly anxiety free since last Friday and I think that's working on a record folks.

no bueno

2006-08-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

I just found out that the city's zoning and platting commission approved a proposed development near my house. This sucks for several reasons: 1) the view will be destroyed and 2) there will be one bridge in and out of the neighborhood over a creek at the end of what is now a dead end street running behind my house. That means that traffic will go up drastically since they're planning to squeeze 58 houses onto fourteen marshy acres. One of the things I have always loved about my house is the fact that there's a dead-end street back there! It sucks for my downstream neighbors because of what they're planning to do with water drainoff from the fourteen acres. Rainwater is currently is allowed to soak into the ground and slowly drain into the creek. According to the developers they plan to build a culvert underneath the houses that will dump the water directly into the creek. Undoubtedly houses will flood. Here are a couple of articles about our cause: The Chronicle and News 8 Austin. I am very sad today.

the latest scoop

2006-08-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

O.M.G., I just got some news that made my week: the T.A. has put in his two week notice, my faith in the world has been restored! I had to pick up his slack for the past two afternoons so I have been feeling especially hateful towards him.

In other news, my psychiatrist urged me to get back in touch with Dr. Telch since I am still struggling with anxiety and panic. I had been stubbornly resisting his suggestion until last weekend when I finally had enough. I emailed him to ask if he would tell me what I need to do to qualify for his research study. He wrote me back and said he would either get one of his graduate students to work with me or he would work with me himself. At this point I'll take all the help I can get!

I am still not sure how I feel about getting back together with The Musician. Part of me loves him dearly and is excited and hopeful at the prospect. Then another, more sinister, part of me is coming up with all kinds of reasons why it won't work out. I feel like I have found myself in a relationship replete with pressure to make it work and I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. The pressure is all internal, he is not pressuring me to do anything and has made it abundantly clear that it's up to me to set the pace. I think there is some fear of being hurt again.

I talked to my supervisor at work about the possibility of going back to school. I would have to take some time off during the work day to go to class because the program I'm interested in does not offer evening classes. She said that would be fine, I would just have to come in 45 minutes early on those two days. I am so excited about the idea of continuing my education in pursuit of an actual career that would get me out of this dead end job in which I'm starting to stagnate.

third time's a charm?

2006-08-02T10:57:00.000-05:00

I decided to give it a go with The Musician. So far I feel really safe and happy with him and the weirdest part is it doesn't feel weird. He said it's like he stepped out for a pack of smokes and got lost somewhere but finally found his way back...six years later. Being together feels like coming home. I still feel very nervous and afraid of making a huge mistake. My inner perfectionist wants to sort out every possible outcome and scenario before making any decisions. Of course that means I'm not living in the present and I am engaging in a lot of future projection. That behavior doesn't work since it's impossible to predict the future!

feelings

2006-07-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

So The Musician revealed to me that he has "feelings" for me and that they never really went away. I think he's trying to get back together with me! I have to admit, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea. There is something very attractive about the idea of being with someone who has already seen me at my worst, and my best for that matter. He knew all about me and loved me anyway. It seems to me that he actually likes me because of who I am and not in spite of. Last night I was able to ask him about his long range career goals and he impressed me with his plans. I still feel really confused about this whole situation, I wish these things were easier for me. It's very important for me to remember that just like everything else, it's really only one day at a time. My sister had the good sense to point out that sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for, in this case The Musician is not even close to being milquetoast.

step nine

2006-07-21T14:12:00.000-05:00

Early Tuesday morning I got a voicemail from my ex-boyfriend The Musician. When I say "ex" I mean we broke up about six years ago. When I say broke up I mean he dumped me at the end of a birthday party I had thrown him during which he introduced me to the girl that he was presumably dumping me for. He never admitted that's why he was dumping me but come on, this ain't my first rodeo. The whole thing was highly unceremonious and insulting. To be fair, I had dumped him the previous summer in an equally unceremonious and insulting fashion, perhaps he was just getting even. We got back together nine months later for a short two months which fortunately resulted in Nappy meeting her future husband the Rock Star. I have always figured that was a fair sacrifice since he's so great and she's so happy with him, I am lucky to have him for a brother-in-law. But I digress. The Musician's message to me had all the elements of a ninth step amends which made me jump for gleeful joy at the prospect that he might have turned over a new leaf. The boy was a wreck back then; I can only imagine how much worse it could have gotten. He left a cell phone number but said it wouldn't be turned on for a couple of days. As you can imagine I have been obsessively calling the number only to get the generic cell phone lady's voice telling me the cellular customer I was trying to reach is currently unavailable. For Pete's sake man, you can't drop a bomb on my voicemail like that and not leave a way for me to reach you! Well today I finally got wise and sent him a text message; I figured he would get it as soon as his cell phone was finally working. Lo and behold he called me back, I about fell out of my desk chair. We talked for about ten minutes in which I gleaned that he is probably sober (he used the word "amends") and he's single, employed and living with his brother and two nieces. He also told me he's suffering from Gulf War syndrome for which the V.A. is treating him. It is heartbreaking to think of the suffering he has endured as a result of being in the military, a choice he made to escape an abusive stepdad and ostensibly to pay for college. I am going to call him back tonight when we can talk longer and we’re going to make a plan to meet in person. I cannot explain to you the feelings I am now having about having this man pop back into my life out of the clear blue sky and apologize for the way he treated me. That is something I had given up on a long time ago. I have to say, I’m pretty excited about it!

milquetoast

2006-07-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

Well I had been working on a crush that I neglected to mention here. He is a co-worker of mine who sits in the cube right next to mine, we'll call him The Cruncher. I use the term "cube" loosely because I really only have one full wall; one side is only half a wall and the other two sides are completely open. The crush on The Cruncher started a couple of months ago, probably because he and I spend so many hours talking to each other. Our job consists of waiting for the phone to ring, in the meantime there is not much else to do but chit-chat. The Cruncher and I have a lot in common: we're both native Austinites, extremely liberal, ready to start families, have good relationships with our parents and siblings and have the same taste in movies. On paper he's a good catch: he owns his own home, drives a nice new car, has a master's degree and earns a decent living. Plus he is kind, sensitive, caring and not bad looking. Of course I am not one bit sexually attracted to him, but I figured that could change and grow. There is one other weird element: he is forty and has a 23-year-old "girlfriend" who lives in California, they have been "together" for over two years. We have gone out to lunch a couple of times and then last week I invited him over to watch a movie at my house. We decided to follow my regular movie night m.o. and order a pizza. When he got there I started making salads and asked him to order the pizza. He got very nervous and said he needed a pen so he could rehearse the phone call. Dude, just order the damn pizza! I asked him if he wanted me to order it and he conceded. Then he started asking me if his car was ok parked by my curb or if he should move it into my driveway. I live in a mini-cul-de-sac so no traffic goes by my house. I told him I thought it would be fine but he opted to move his car anyway. I felt insulted that he seemed afraid of my neighborhood. I have lived there for ten years and no one has ever touched my car or the cars of my guests. There were a few other things that happened during the course of the evening that really got on my nerves and showed me that girlfriend or no girlfriend, The Cruncher is not the man for me. It was actually a breakthrough because I realized that I do have enough self-esteem to wait for the Right Guy rather than settle for the Convenient Guy. And that includes a guy I'm sexually attracted to!

updates

2006-07-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

The panic is starting to creep back in, I've had two good bouts of it since my last acupuncture treatment. Rats. I just refilled my Chinese herb prescription, hopefully that will help. I'm starting to wonder if it's related to aspartame, I have read that it can contribute to panic and anxiety. I was already trying to avoid it because it supposedly also contributes to depression, but I indulged myself a couple of times and those were the two days that I had near misses with a panic attack.
My roommate suddenly decided to move out in September. I am mostly ok with it but I will miss the extra income, I was counting on the money to help pay for an enormous vet bill I racked up last month along with pet insurance premiums to help prevent another such bill. Fear of financial insecurity definitely contributes to my anxiety level!
updates update: my roommate is staying after all, yea!

their emails

2006-07-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

In case you're interested, I thought I would post Dr. Telch's and his assistant's emails to me.

Hers:

"I am so very sorry. I am new to scheduling patients for Dr. Telch, and I assumed that you knew that you were being scheduled to see him as a private patient. Most of his patients are very pleased when they find out that he treats them in his home rather than his office at the University of Texas. They have found it to be a very private and relaxing environment. Dr. Telch is sending you some information, but if I can do anything at all to help you please let me know. Once again, I am so sorry. I take full responsibility for the misunderstanding. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions."

His:

"I apologize for the misunderstanding and feel bad that I made you feel so uncomfortable. I think you sensed my frustration at Christine for not clarifying this with you. Christine - my assistant is new and she led me to believe that you understood you were seeing me for a private consultation. I have spent time reviewing your evaluation and you obviously can definitely use some expert help. I am attaching an educational handout that we give our study participants. You may find this helpful as a starter. I can check with my staff to see if there is room for you in the next UT treatment group. The advantage of that is that it is free, the disadvantage is that it is a group treatment and therefore does not allow the specific individual tailoring. The therapists are advanced students who have been trained by me to perform the panic treatment. In order to participate in that, you would still need to come in to my office at the University and complete a face-to-face interview. Based on your test scores online, my guess is that you'll pass the interview and be eligible to take part in the study. Keep in mind that we have a very powerful non-medication treatment for panic. There are some other less expensive private alternatives as well if you do not want to jump through the hoops of a university-based program, I can probably get one of my doctoral students to give you the treatment one-on-one at UT at a significantly reduced fee. Sorry again for the misunderstanding! Don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions."

average conceited jerk

2006-07-07T08:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had that appointment with the UT professor, Dr. Michael Telch. I even showed up five minutes early which is quite a feat for me. When I got to the address they gave me I walked in the front door and realized I was standing in someone's house, it totally freaked me out. So I called the number they gave me and Dr. Telch told me the entrance to his office was on the ground level by the garage, I'm not sure how I was supposed to deduce that. I walked into his office and was immediately faced with a picture window that looks out onto his boat dock where his wife was hanging out with their dogs. The whole situation made me very uncomfortable. Dr. Telch offered me a clipboard with some paperwork to fill out, but not before pointing out, with seeming annoyance, that I was early. As I looked over the paperwork I realized it was for new patients of his and had nothing to do with the UT laboratory study. I stopped and said, "Before I fill this out, I was under the impression I was here for the research study." To that he replied quite haughtily, "Why would you think that? You scheduled a private session with me." I told him I went though the lab website and filled out all the questionnaires for the lab study. He made it sound like it should have been crystal clear that I was approaching him for a private session. To that I replied, "Well it must be confusing because I am an intelligent person and it was not clear to me." He said, "Are you having panic attacks?" I said I was and he replied, "Well I am one of the World's Gurus on Panic Attacks. And it's a five to nine month wait for the research study, if you even qualify." I got up to leave and he told me to wait so he could give me some information. I handed him his clipboard and said "I don't like the way you're talking to me so I am going to leave now," and walked out of his office slamming the door behind me. I went straight home and sent this email to his "assistant" (who I think is his wife; they have the same last name):

"I have a couple of suggestions to help prevent future misunderstandings such as the one that occurred today between me, you and Dr. Telch. Here is the process I followed: I logged into the "University of Texas at Austin LSAD Online Testing and Interview System" and completed several questionnaires. Then, as requested, I sent an email to LSAD@telchlab.com. Since all of this fell under the heading of "University of Texas at Austin LSAD Online Testing and Interview System" and the email goes to a lab address and the introduction states: "Dr. Telch or one of his staff will contact you as soon as possible" and mentions nothing about Dr. Telch's private practice; I am not sure how it was misunderstood that I wanted a private session with him. Also, nothing in your emails indicated that is what I was scheduling; I assumed it was some sort of screening process for the lab. As far as Dr. Telch's attitude, you may want to suggest to him that he use a more compassionate and less condescending tone with someone he knows to be suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. Furthermore, I think he should be embarrassed to tout himself as "one of the world's gurus on panic attacks" when he acts like an average conceited jerk. You may want to revisit your process."

About an hour later I got a call from Dr. Telch apologizing for the "misunderstanding." He said he would be willing to offer me a couple of follow up sessions free of charge to compensate for what happened. He made it clear they would be "at UT, not at my home" as if I had invaded his home against his will. He also sent me an apologetic email as did his "assistant." Neither of them addressed the cause of the "misunderstanding" and I now have no desire to work with him on any level.
My mom, my marketing professional friend C. and my roommate J. all think that he's pulling some sort of scam to get vulnerable people into his office for expensive private sessions. C. said it sounded like the old bait-and-switch and that I should report him to UT. I'm not sure if I should go there or not...

acupuncture works

2006-07-05T14:22:00.000-05:00

I went to an acupuncture school last Wednesday to get a treatment specifically for my anxiety & panic. Some of you may remember why I will not go back to see my regular acupuncturist. Anyway, the intern who worked on me said I had a dry heat, "like a brush fire blowing in the wind." It was interesting and the treatment went very well. They gave me some horrible tasting herbs that I have been drinking religiously twice a day and guess what, NO PANIC ATTACKS!!! I already knew acupuncture works because it cured my strep throat once, but now I am even more convinced. Tomorrow I am meeting with a UT professor who runs an laboratory for the study of anxiety disorders. They give free cognitive behavioral therapy to anxiety & panic sufferers, I'm really excited to find out more...

more on panic

2006-06-28T08:28:00.000-05:00

I have been suffering from anxiety and panic since I was 13. Luckily, over the years I have had long stretches of time where I am virtually symptom free. However for the past three weeks or so I have been having panic attacks that include all of the symptoms I listed in the previous post, and it is absolutely horrible. My shrink has prescribed medication for it but it is not 100% effective. I have cut back on caffeine and am trying to walk every day. In addition, I am looking into alternative methods for combatting this nightmare such as biofeedback and acupuncture. If anyone has any experience recovering from anxiety and panic, especially regarding alternatives to medication, I am all ears.

welcome to my world

2006-06-17T15:54:00.000-05:00

A Panic Attack is defined as the abrupt onset of an episode of intense fear or discomfort, which peaks in approximately 10 minutes, and includes at least four of the following symptoms:

a feeling of imminent danger or doom;
the need to escape;
palpitations;
sweating;
trembling;
shortness of breath or a smothering feeling;
a feeling of choking;
chest pain or discomfort;

nausea or abdominal discomfort;
dizziness or lightheadedness;
a sense of things being unreal, depersonalization;
a fear of losing control or "going crazy";
tingling sensations;
chills or hot flushes.

ADAA

future serial killer

2006-06-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I overheard a lovely conversation between two of my co-workers yesterday, one of which is a dumbass married guy (MG) who keeps emailing me. The other guy was telling MG that a neighborhood cat had been crapping in his lawn to which MG responded, "Just put out a bowl of antifreeze, no more cat problem!" So I emailed MG and said he should watch what he says at work, that I had a cat die of antifreeze poisoining and that it is a terrible way to watch a pet die. He wrote me back and "apologized" but said something snarky about how I hadn't responded to an earlier email from him. I wrote him back and said I don't care to be friends with someone who thinks poisoning animals is funny. To which he replied, "I never said it was funny." People like him scare me very much.

gross

2006-06-02T14:51:00.000-05:00

I hate it when people clip their fingernails at work. Every time I hear the distinctive snip-snip-snip sound my skin crawls as I imagine the simple squamous cells being tossed carelessly around the office. What if one of those germ-infested half-moons lands in someone's coffee?! Once when I worked at Starbucks a customer started clipping his fingernails right by the espresso machine. I just knew we were going to get a latte returned with a little sliver of scariness floating in the foam. I think personal grooming and hygiene should be kept where it belongs, in the privacy of our own bathrooms.

I hate pants

2006-05-25T10:04:00.000-05:00

I took the day off yesterday to go shopping for pants. I need pants for work, bad. It's so bad I literally have four pairs of work pants if you don't include the one pair of lame black slacks I bought at Goodwill out of desperation. They are too short and make me want to cry when I have to wear them on Dirty Laundry Day. They seriously qualify as highwaters. Apparently I am currently an in-between-odd-size because everything I tried on was either two tight on the ass or gaping at the waist. It seems I am also a weird height because all the pants were either past my feet or skimming my ankles. After hours of shopping I went home empty handed, what a bust! I long for a day when I can work from home in my pajama pants, they always fit like a dream.

so dreamy

2006-05-15T12:47:00.000-05:00

I checked my personals profile last night and discovered I got a "wink" from this man. Winks are free, he didn't even want to use his credits to contact me. Ain't life grand?!

me likee

2006-05-10T15:28:00.000-05:00

According to my sources, I may or may not be developing some like for a Mormon. Yikes. Just say we were to get married, I wonder if I would have to share him with other wives? It's a joke people, I know they stopped practicing polygamy in 1890. Here's a post from another one of my favorite blogs regarding polygamy. I really like her point, "the only reason the church stopped sanctioning polygamy was because the government told them they had to. So… God was wrong? God answers to the American government?" I think I'll use some of her arguments if he tries to get me to convert. Because being in like with someone is obviously one tiny step away from getting married in a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints temple.

captain joe

2006-04-30T22:30:00.000-05:00

Earlier in the month I posted about placing an online personal ad. Not surprisingly, it has not been very successful. This evening I got a message from a guy whose profile headline states, "Firstmate Needed to Have FUN !!!!!!"
Under the heading "Why You Should Get to Know Me" he proclaims:

“Hello out their...... single, active Captain looking for Fristmate. I love the lake with sunsets...Water is great....Dining on my vessel with freinds & mate." [oh look, he’s a poet!]

Then under the heading "More About What I Am Looking For" he expounds:

"Looking for Firstmate to enjoy the lake life, Will train to assist in boating ....looking for a girl that enjoys dancing, boating, hanging out on Housboat ...enjoying the weekend Music & Sunsets. Adventure is their, Fun is their, Moonlite cruises are their, Just need you their..........See Ya......."

This is a forty-year-old man who purportedly has a four-year college degree and that is the best he can come up with? Word to the wise: if you're going to use the same pronoun four times in quick succession, be sure you're using the correct one.
In his super charming note to me he wrote,

“Hi How is your day been, do you like sunsets on Lake Travis...The weather is getting nice & the water is great... Tell me a litle more about you?
See Ya Captain Joe”

Aye, aye, Cap’n, my heart is aflutter.

Freakin’ Lovely.

calling all democrats

2006-04-26T09:08:00.000-05:00

One of my co-workers brought this site to my attention, tee hee hee! "Democrat Singles lets liberal and democrat singles find their politically correct match. Whether you are a member of U.S. Democratic Party or just a supporter, this site will help you meet women and men who think like you do. Join the best dating site for meeting single Dems! Who knows... you may just meet the love of a lifetime!"

relief

2006-04-25T14:30:00.000-05:00

As Crystal so tenderly pointed out to me, perhaps I just need to get laid? Now statistically speaking I would have to agree; as I have mentioned these are dry times my friends. However I must argue my case, because that's what I do. First and foremost, there is the obvious issue of a missing partner with whom I would do said dirty deed. My standards have apparently become impossibly high and great candidates aren't exactly lining up at my door. Secondly, because unfortunately I am not wired to have casual sex I can't just jump into bed with some guy purely for the sake of relief. Damn it! Sure sounds like fun though...you gals who can do it hit one for me please. Third, getting into a sexual relationship presents its own set of anxieties for me (of course). Most importantly there is the risk of getting pregnant. I am in no position to bring a baby into the world right now, as much as I might want to later.
Back to the drawing board.
Sidebar: I’m curious to know how many of you regularly have sex just to relieve your anxiety. Give it to me straight.

it's back...

2006-04-21T09:43:00.000-05:00

...the anxiety, that is. I didn't really know how bad it had gotten until I went back and read a post of mine from last August when the shit really hit the fan and realized it's that bad. So I put in a call to my Doctor, looks like it's back to the drawing table again. Damn it! I'm so sick of that GD drawing table, I would be happy if I never had to see it again. Last night I was watching Chocolat which is a perfectly sweet and lovely movie, and for some reason I started bawling right in the middle. WTF? Anxiety is different from depression and a lot less scary, it's just frustrating, overwhelming and exhausting. Imagine that your brain is stuck in a constant loop of worry that impedes your ability to focus on simple and enjoyable tasks like cooking a meal, watching a movie or having a phone conversation with a friend. That's what my anxiety feels like and I am completely over it.

laaaaambykins

2006-04-19T15:25:00.000-05:00

This is some funny shit

scary and sad

2006-04-18T14:56:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned before my sister and I are training for the HCRA which means we have been riding long distances on some pretty scary roads. When I say long distances I mean long for me, I think the longest was 43 miles. When I say scary I mean two lane country roads, sometimes with no shoulders and high speed traffic. Here is a map of the ride we did last Saturday. So then today I read this horrible story which scares the holy bejebus out of me.
I am sure all of you are very courteous drivers but here is my PSA for the month: please remember to be careful when you see a cyclist on the road, they have the same rules and rights to the road and are much more vulnerable. Thank you!

interesting choice

2006-04-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

So I went to dinner with The Writer on Friday night and when he picked me up he told me again that he had missed me. I can't help but wonder why he didn't just call or email me if he missed me so dang much? Anyway, we had a nice dinner with our usually easy, breezy conversation. However, at one point I asked him "what else is new" and he replied he didn't know how much I wanted to hear about his personal life. I must have given him a "bring it on" facial expression because he went ahead and launched into a tale about a woman he had been seeing for the past week. I was a little surprised by his choice of conversation topics but I just sort of went with it because it was a funny story either way. Part of me is glad he is so comfortable with me but part of me thinks that it's inappropriate disclosure to talk about other women with someone you're reportedly (at least a little bit) romantically interested in. Am I taking crazy pills? One of my friends thinks he's trying to make me jealous, as if my jealousy will spur me into action of some sort. Unfortunately he is sadly mistaken because I respond in the exactly opposite way; if I think there are sharks circling I swim in the other direction. I don't want any part of that biznazz.

I hate american idol

2006-04-14T10:06:00.000-05:00

The people I work with apparently have a burning need to recap daily the American Idol episode from the previous evening. They talk about the contestants as if they are on a first name basis with them and get very emotional about the outcomes. I am so happy I can honestly say I have only watched a couple of the preliminary episodes and was lucky enough to catch the one where William Hung made his now-famous debut. It was truly unforgettable, but not great enough to make me want to watch that stupid show.

so predictable

2006-04-13T13:01:00.000-05:00

It has now been two weeks since my smoochfest with The Plumber, a.k.a. Mr. Supreme Flakiness, and I've only heard from him twice (not that I'm counting). There was no mention of any further contact. As I suspected, He's Just Not That Into Me. Thankfully I'm okay with that, I realize that it is his loss and I'm better off not wasting time with a really flaky guy. Right on cue, The Writer, a.k.a. The Man Who Sent Me Into a Seventh Grade Tailspin, called me on Tuesday, two weeks to the day since I last emailed him (not that I'm counting). Very curious! His message to me: "I miss you and I would like to see you! I assume for the past couple of weeks you've been rocketing around the hill country on your bike...if you feel like calling me you should." Uhhhh, so if I haven't contacted you I must have a really good reason? Something that has kept me so busy that it has held me back from my nearly irrepressible and urgent desires to chase you down? It couldn't possibly mean I just didn't feel like giving you the time of day because you hit my last nerve with a comment you made during our Little Chat. God Forbid! Of course I'm having dinner with him tomorrow night, would you expect anything less?

more on dating

2006-04-10T11:16:00.000-05:00

So I was reading a post from one of my favorite blogs and it got me thinking, what am I doing with boys? I guess the question is moot because I'm not really doing a goddamn thing with any boys whatsoever. However, I sure do spend a lot of mental energy thinking about them...so much so that I believe it qualifies as obsessing. I heard a woman say last night that she mentally "engages" without actually engaging with another person. She meant that she engages in the obsessive thinking about someone else and lets them take up space rent free in her brain. That's what I'm doing with boys. I think I am addicted to obsessing, I can find anything to wrap my brain around and not let go. I can understand one reason why people in my club go out, it's really hard to date when you get sober and you don't want to date within the club. I try to think of those boys as "close blood kin" which makes it quite unpalatable to consider them dating partners. So where does a sober girl go to meet boys? I can’t go to the dog park because my dogs are the “problem children" on the playground and the other parents end up scowling at me with disdain. It just turns into a shame spiral and does nothing productive for any of us.
See, I used to have no problems in the dating department. Well, that’s not entirely true, I had plenty of problems with the boys I did date but I didn’t really have a problem getting a date. I have even had a few longish relationships, and by “longish” I mean one to two years. At this juncture I have only had two shortish relationships, if you can even call them that, in the past four years. And by “shortish” I mean four to six months. That is some serious dry time my friends.
I realize I probably sound like I’m desperately hunting for a husband but really, I’m not. I would just like to go on some fun dates, have some tawdry make out sessions, hold a boy’s hand and smell his neck. I don’t think that’s too much to ask!

gastrointestinal distress

2006-04-05T14:17:00.000-05:00

It all started with the bake sale "nachos" I succumbed to at about 10:00 this morning. Here at the State "nachos" means tortilla chips smothered in a boring yet surprisingly salty queso cheese presented as an appropriate mid-morning bake sale item. Grodine.
The heartburn was furthered along considerably by something that started as a message I received in one of my six email accounts. That's right I said six. I know people, I have a problem. Flashback to yesterday: following some advice I recently received, I decided to post a personal ad in one of our local online rags. I productively used my work time and generous internet access to carefully craft a cutesy ad. Cut to today: the message winking at me from my inbox was letting me know someone had responded to my ad. Yippee! So soon! My picture must be cuter than I think! My responses to the canned questions must have been Oh So Witty! I can't wait to see this guy!
*sigh* I should have known. Three major Deal Breakers:
1) The dude is 49 (I put a generous 45 as the oldest man I'm looking for. 49 is closer to my dad's age than mine)
2) He is Conservative (I am Liberal)
3) He is Christian (I am Spiritual, not Religious)
Now on Deal Breaker #3 I am willing to bend the rules a little, except when coupled with Deal Breaker #2. When I hear the words "Conservative Christian" paired together I can't help but hear "Pro Life" echoing in the not too distant background. He also said he likes to hang out at Carlos and Charlie's and sunbathes in the nude. One of his answers to a canned question? "I wouldn't sell my body for a billion dollars."
Two words: ew and ew.

fatty deluxe

2006-04-04T10:20:00.000-05:00

This was posted on my agency's internal website:

"Janet Doe, with the Information Technology Division, tells @cpa, "Jane Doe's house caught fire March 28, 2006, after being struck by lightning. We will have a bake sale on April 5 from 7:30 - 2:30 in Conference Room 205 to assist her and her family in this time of need." Sausage Wraps, Breakfast Tacos, Waffles, Doughnuts, Nachos, Tamales, Chili, Banana Pudding, Cookies, Cakes, Fruit, Coffee, Soda"

Nice thought, but c'mon, sausage, doughnuts, chili, tamales AND banana pudding? Somewhere in Austin a state worker's heart has an massive coronary just thinking about all that saturated fat.

I wonder what Normal feels like?

2006-04-03T16:21:00.000-05:00

I even wonder if there is such a thing as Normal? I do know that I have never felt what I perceive Normal to feel like. I see people who are married, have successful careers, kids, beautiful homes and plenty of money and wonder, how do they do it? I struggle on a daily basis, teetering on this tightrope of feelings and worries and obsessions, how would there be space in my brain for Normal stuff like hobbies or a relationship or children? I feel like my world is shrinking and things I used to enjoy and accomplish with ease are becoming less appealing and more difficult to manage. It's no wonder dating is so difficult for me, what sane man would want to spend any substantial amount of time with a nut like me? That's rhetorical by the way...
I feel happiest when I'm safe at home in my bubble with my dogs but even that gets lonely sometimes.

dating, part deux

2006-03-31T16:02:00.000-06:00

Last August I posted about my dating capers. Well last night I ran into one of the guys that I went on a few "outings" with during that time. He smells fantastic, is super cute and a great kisser (incidentally, he's also the last guy I kissed.) He is an all around great guy, his one major flaw: supreme flakiness. Last year I kept hearing a voice in my head that said, "he's just not that into you..."
Well last night he not only fixed my leaky toilet but he played a fun round of Truth or Dare Jenga with me that naturally led to some smooching and voila, the dry spell is over! The best part is, it magically dispelled the obsession that I have been cursed with this week. He already called me today to thank me for the great time last night. Thank you sweet baby jesus for sending a cutie my way.

my brain takes the wheel and guns it into overdrive

2006-03-29T12:48:00.000-06:00

Since That Man and I have had The Chat during which I put some feelings on the table and made myself all vulnerable and shit, I cannot stop thinking about it! In keeping with the 7th grade storyline, this is the point where every morning I carefully plan what I am going to wear in hopes that he notices and passes me a note in study hall. Then at school I go out of my way to pass his locker several times a day so he can see me in my cute and coordinating Esprit outfit. All day long I'm passing notes back and forth with my girlfriends hoping to get the scoop on who he's talking to, where he's going on Friday night, what are his likes and dislikes, has he noticed me yet??? I am powerless over my crushes and my brain has become unbearable. I wish there was an easy cure for intrusive and obsessive thoughts. I need a brain exorcism.

growing pains, a.k.a. learning how to date casually

2006-03-27T16:22:00.000-06:00

I have a love/hate relationship with dating. I hate the process of finding someone to date. I love the excitement and butterflies that always accompany a date with someone new. Most of all I hate the part where I have to start navigating negotiations with prospective partner. I have somewhat entered that stage with a particular man in my life. Ew, have I mentioned that I hate it? Last night we had an hour long phone conversation that went something like this:
me: where are you coming from with this, I'm just curious
him: I want to date you, but not exclusively
me: just so you know I don't sleep around, I'm monogamous
him: and that's a good way to be
me: thanks for humoring me
him: baby, I'm not humoring you
me: well thanks for doing this over the phone then
him: sweet dreams
A little background: I never learned how to date casually. All my relationships (save about three) started in a drunken stupor. I usually ended up with a boyfriend after spending two weeks drinking the garcon du jour under the table. I'm seriously stunted in this area and walk around feeling like a 12-year-old which is pretty scary when negotiating sexual relations with a 43-year-old man. I get all freaked out about nothing, like I'm at the 7th grade dance and he won't dance to Careless Whisper with me so I run off to the bathroom to bawl my eyes out.
Yup, that's how I feel. Doesn't it sound like fun?

hello PMS my old friend

2006-03-22T12:22:00.000-06:00

For the past week I have been suffering through a horrible bout of PMS. Like my friend Ekki, I HATE IT. As you may have read in my previous posts, I also struggle with Funtime Mental Issues and it is excruciatingly difficult to determine what's really going on when I feel like committing hara-kari or homicide. It was so bad I even called my shrink, who of course did not have any magic answers for me. For any of you women out there who do not suffer with this affliction, you suck. But just because I'm seriously jealous. By my calculations this is the 247th month I have felt this way so you would think I might have gotten used to it. On the contrary, it blindsides me every month and I wonder just What the Hell is wrong with me now?! It makes me really angry that I go through this every month and I may never have a child to make it worth all the trouble.

Nature can be so cruel!

oh hell no

2006-03-17T12:19:00.000-06:00

Extra! Extra! This just in: words I never thought I would see in print ever again:
"HOW TO WEAR PEG-LEG STYLES" and "HOW TO WEAR PLEATED PANTS". Are you fucking kidding me? Thanks to TWK for bringing this horrible fashion development to our attention... click here to read more. I don't care what the fuck Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Moss, and Sienna Miller are wearing, there's no way my ass is making any appearances in anything peg-legged and/or pleated. THAT IS INSANITY PEOPLE.

On a completely different note, my best friend the T.A. is celebrating St. Patty's Day by mentioning beer as often as possible today. It's only noon and I have lost count. Update: T.A. just left work early. On his way out the door he said to me, "don't be a hater girlfriend, I'm going to be two sheets to the wind by the time you get off work." It is 1:30 pm, I get off work at 4:30 pm.

I, on the other hand, will be celebrating by eating Jell-O Sugar Free Fat Free chocolate pudding:

("Sixty four percent of moms say JELL-O Pudding

is a favorite snack for kids!")

with fat free Cool Whip whipped topping:

along with Baked! Tostitos "tortilla chips" and salsa:

Aren't you jealous?

add it to the ever-growing list

2006-03-14T13:46:00.000-06:00

So I am officially addicted to craigslist missed connections. I pore over the posts every day and I get very excited each time a new one shows up. It's some weird voyeuristic fetish I have, reading about all those people out there trying to make a connection. I am embarrassed to admit, I have even posted a few of my own. Even more embarrassing to admit, I have had two dates as a result of my postings!
The first one was a waiter in a restaurant where my family had dinner one night. He was a real cutie and we had a great coffee date. He acted all into me, asked me if could see me again, said he would call me and then never did. *sigh* Now his band keeps playing with another friend of mine's band and I don't want to go see them play because I don't want him to think I'm there to see him. Poo.
The second one responded to something I had posted for someone else. I figured what the hell and wrote him back. We corresponded for awhile via email and he seemed nice enough so I finally agreed to have dinner with him. The guy turned out to be King of the Tools. Within the first fifteen minutes of dinner he was telling me about the problematic sex life he had with his ex-wife. He went so far as to tell me, "I like to do it all, you know what I'm saying?" Ew. And that's just a sampler, there was so much more but it would be way too much to put here.
One might think I would learn my lesson but of course not, I continue to post because for me it is a fun, if not tragic, diversion from my mundane life.

morning pillow talk

2006-03-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

Heard this morning:

T.A.: How you doin' girl?
Me: fine
T.A.: Smile, it's Friday, the only day you can legally walk into a liquor store and nobody looks at you funny.
Me: [silently ignoring]
T.A.: I have a serious problem.
Me: yes, I am aware of that

It looks like I have some prayin' to do. However, I can't decide which prayer, "Dear SuperPower, please get this (obviously) sick man some help." -OR- "Dear SuperPower, please get this (obviously) annoying man a job in a different area, somewhere far, far from here."
Or as Ekki said, I could just kick him in the family jewels, which frankly sounds like a lot more fun.

the time has come

2006-03-09T15:48:00.000-06:00

I can no longer refrain from talking about a certain Tragic Alcoholic (or T.A. for short) co-worker. This morning when were here alone together he said he had a joke for me, this is how it went:

T.A.: "Have I told you that you remind me of the grades I made in school?"
Me: "uh, no."
T.A.: "All 'D's!"

I ran this by my other co-workers and they all agreed there is only one thing referred to as a "D" and I think we all know what that is. Now I'm not one to call "sexual harassment" on the first guy who makes an infantile comment about my rack but COME ON PEOPLE. Besides this guy is a complete lame ass who talks incessantly about his lame ass drinking. I have officially lost my patience. Now just what is a modern feminist gal supposed to do?

interesting

2006-03-06T15:31:00.000-06:00

Over the past year I have been experiencing an interesting shift in my taste in men. I previously had a tendency to inadvertently pick out the most wounded trainwreck of a man in the room. Think Robert Downey, Jr., Colin Farrell, Christian Slater, etc. A mentor of mine calls it the "Broken Bird Fetish" and I guess I have to (begrudgingly) agree. A friend of mine who is more healthy than I am in the men department has to alert me to the Broken Bird nature of the men I am attracted to. She can smell it from a mile away while I'm naively gazing at them with teenage girl googly eyes.
However, I've begun to wise up and I'm starting to catch a whiff of the B.B. a little sooner than I used to, which was usually about two months into dating a guy. What's more, I am starting to gravitate toward older, blue collar, biker dudes...think Kris Kristofferson...WTF?!? I think it has something to do with being minutely willing to entertain the idea of letting someone take care of me just a tiny little bit for a change.
Double K looks like he would be pretty darn handy around the house and I bet he likes dogs.

Quandaries

2006-03-03T13:59:00.000-06:00

In August I posted this: "I met a man, in a most coincidental way, whom I feel is my mindmeldsoulbrother but for reasons completely beyond my control he is absolutely unavailable to me." That man is still a part of my life (my sick choice) and when we make contact via email I inevitably end up feeling completely nauseated. Today was one of those days, partly because his absolute unavailability was right up in my face yet again. It's just one more addiction in the long list that I am afflicted with. I've learned it takes a phenomenal amount of personal pain for me to stop doing things that are unhealthy for me. I hear it's the Nature of the Disease Beast.

On a completely different note, I had dinner with a lovely man last night. We are not dating but we really enjoy each other's company. After dinner he came over and walked my dogs with me; it doesn't get much sweeter than that in my humble opinion. In person there is zero chemistry but I feel we are a perfect match on paper. One of my closest friends disagrees, she thinks that if he were my boyfriend he would drive me completely b-a-n-a-n-a-s in three weeks flat. When I asked her why she mumbled something about me needing a boyfriend with a steady job. Fair enough. However, I'm completely terrified that I'm just one of "those girls" that nice guys always complain about. You know the kind of girl that only dates jerks? About half of me believes that chemistry can grow over time once trust and compatibility are established and the other half believes that if it's not there it ain't ever gonna be there. And then a tiny part of me doesn't give a shit, she just wants a super hot boy toy. I have to tell her to be quiet...a lot.

what's YOUR perfect major?

2006-02-27T15:39:00.000-06:00

courtesy of my sister "Nappy"
I scored as Sociology. I should have been a Sociology major! (but I did get my degree in anthropology!)

Sociology

100%

Anthropology

92%

Psychology

83%

Theater

75%

Philosophy

75%

Biology

58%

Linguistics

58%

Mathematics

58%

Journalism

50%

Engineering

50%

English

42%

Dance

42%

Art

33%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

my first guest star invitation...continued

2006-02-23T10:36:00.000-06:00

Update: I should have mentioned that there had been some prior inappropriate email conversations between the two of us. However, I had made it very clear, multiple times, that I did not want to engage in this sort of behavior with him. He continues to cross my boundaries, yuck!

My response:

"I have to say I'm flattered that you would ask me to join in that kind of fun with you and I actually considered it for a second (only for the acupuncture though!) However, I don't think I would ever feel comfortable getting treatments from you if we were to do what you've suggested and I value you too much as an acupuncturist! I'm glad you two found each other, sounds like a great match."

His response:

"well, thanks for considering.......the offer is still open.........just think of how many acupuncture sessions you could get for only 10.00??"

He just won't quit! And I agree, I cannot believe he would commit any of this to writing! I think I'll be looking for a new female acupuncturist!!!

my first guest star invitation (oh my gawd y'all)

2006-02-22T12:53:00.000-06:00

So I called my acupuncturist to get a recommendation on some fish oil supplements. Rather than call me, he sent me an email this morning. After he named a couple of products and added in the usual chit-chat he and I engage in (we have a friendly relationship) he launched into this interesting proposal, I just had to share. To clarify, "xxx" is the ex-wife of my acupuncturist's (former?) best friend and supervisor...whaaaaat?!?!?!

"you might find this funny, but [xxx] and I are boyfriend and girlfriend...funny, huh?? [xxx] is quite nasty, which is very fun....she loves to watch porn, and she loves toys. and yes she has a strap on, but no its not for me!! she really wants for us to get some nasty pictures of us having fun too. would you be interested in taking them?? if so, i'll give you free acupuncture for the rest of your life, or at least 10.00 treatments to cover the needles!! i'm serious. i think it would be hot if you were dressed up like a porn star and we watched a good porno and then you could take pics of [xxx] and i going for it.......and if it turned you on i'm sure you could join in....all up to you.....but i feel real comfortable with you and think it would be fun..........so, think about how much money you would save on acupuncture and how much fun it would be and email me soon.........and get some fish oil soon!!! it can make a big difference in mood as well"

I have to say, I am flattered that he invited to join in the "fun" but I don't think I could possibly get acupuncture treatments from him after witnessing him "going for it" with his new girlfriend. Eeeewwwww!!!

Oh My Stars...brand new sugar daddy post!

2006-02-03T14:17:00.000-06:00

Extra, Extra, This Just In:

Hi, I'm xxx ... responding to your posting on Craig's List.

A little about me ... I'm looking for an intelligent woman who will give me pleasant thoughts to start the day ... and occasionally makes one glad that he is wearing pleated slacks.

Hopefully, you enjoy conversation about almost anything, have a ready smile, enjoy a good chuckle, and can grin (or moan) when appropriate.

Although I occasionally fall behind in keeping up with my favorite novelists, I am a voracious reader with an eclectic, curious mind. And, I am reasonably current with the news of the world. I've been told that I have a great sense of situational humor, with a contagious smile and laugh.

At a young 53, I have retained most of my 6' 3" height, have almost all of my medium brown hair - just a few gray hairs at the temples (distinguished without Grecian formula), and only occasionally have to resort to glasses to augment my brown eyes. I'm still asked if I played basketball - which I did ... until I learned that white guys can't jump!
Just thought you'd like to know that I found many parts of your posting to be most enticing, we seem to be on the same sensuality and sexuality pages ... yummy, would you love for me to bring some romance, passion, adventure, and excitement into your life?

You'll find that I am a romantic type -- wine, roses, and candlelight -- but very firm hand, very masculine, a deep voice, and something they call Presence. I'm looking for a woman who finds pleasure in exploring the full potential of her femininity, sensuality, and sexuality.

I have recently re-discovered how truly pleasureable extended foreplay can be for both a man and a woman, so I am into slightly kinky sexual pleasures -- but not hard-core.
You might call me a Gentleman DOM. If you are expecting a blue collar sadist, I'm not your guy because I am a well educated, well read professional worthy of respect . . . but if you enjoy submission and light to medium domination from one who has found that his creative and playful sexuality can provide extended foreplay and gourmet sex, to say nothing of eclectic passion and lust!!
Then, we probably ought to get together . . . I'm near Austin.
I'm tall, do you occasionally enjoy wearing heels and stockings when out with one of us taller guys?
Perhaps I mention that I very much enjoy having my ears tickled by the lace of stockings tops!
How high are your heels?
What color roses would you prefer?

Tell me more! Perhaps send pics to xxx@gmail.com
Take care . . . ciao!

HCRA

2006-01-17T14:18:00.000-06:00

Please support this cause: http://www.hillcountryride.org/site/PageServer. I rode with my sister in 2004 and we've already started training for this year's ride on April 29, 2006.

hello strangers

2006-01-03T14:00:00.000-06:00

So I haven't posted in nearly a month and I know you're all sitting on pins & needles just dying to hear from me. I've been wrapped up in my two other addictions: myspace & craigslist...sheesh I cannot get enough myspace right now and it's making me koo-koo. So...what's new you ask? Very little, which is a good thing! Working for the (wo)man, keeping my nose clean and loving my life. I hope I can remember this the next time I feel like a pile of dooky!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

get weaned already

2005-12-09T12:37:00.000-06:00

I went to a "Chick Schtick" comedy show Monday night and this one gal had a joke I found particularly funny. She said she's decided there is something creepy about a grown man drinking a glass of milk; that it would appear he hadn't been completely weaned off the teat. (tee hee hee, the mere mention of the word "teat" makes the joke funny!) I have to say I agree with her on that and what's more, it reminds me of one of my many pet peeves: people who refer to their parents as "Mom" or "Dad" in conversation rather than "my mom" or "my dad." It makes it sound like their mom or dad has suddenly also become my mom or dad. There is something that creeps me out about that and makes me want to scream "CUT THE APRON STRINGS for the love of god!" My last boyfriend (whose parents lived in another state) said "Mom called" and it turned out that he felt the need to call her back (even if we were still in my bed, sleeping late) and "Dad called" ...to tell him he was due for an oil change! Like I said, cut the damn apron strings!
I also feel the revulsion rising when people who refer to themselves in the third person, as in "Roxie sure is tired today!" or say "we" when they really mean "you." For example, "how are we doing today?" Ummm, I hope you know how you're doing today, I certainly don't...are you trying to ask me how I am doing today?

Is there a pill to relieve grumpiness???

***edit 1/05/06: I want to apologize to any men I may have offended who drink milk to relieve acid reflux or for any other medicinal type purposes; how insensitive of me!***

I'm so grumpy I can hardly stand to be around myself...

2005-12-07T16:35:00.000-06:00

...and no, it's not PMS.

Right now my precious cat keeps walking over my hands as I try to type this which isn't helping. Here she is with her precious foot conveniently perched on the wrist cushion of my mouse pad.

And here she is again after walking across the keyboard (and my hands) to sit on the other side of the monitor, staring at me lovingly.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night...ok that is normally my dinner time so something is seriously wrong. What's worse is I still woke up tired and grumpy after 9.5 hours of sleep!

Today at work was our annual Division Holiday Luncheon. And when I say luncheon I mean bbq catered by Poke-E-Jo's. And with a name like that you know it's going to be choice. Now, I don't eat meat and I didn't even like bbq when I did eat meat so I opted to stay back and cover the phones while everyone else went to chow down. Several well-meaning co-workers kept saying "We can bring you a plate? You can eat the potato salad! How about some cole slaw? Don't you like beans?" Ugh, by the end of I just wanted to scream. But I guess I can't really complain, I have a cushy state job and they shut down the office at 3:30 due to "inclement weather" and my boss just called to tell me it's not opening until 10:00 tomorrow morning.
I really should be less grumpy.

ooops, already wbw again

2005-11-30T18:35:00.000-06:00

wbw

2005-11-23T12:54:00.000-06:00

After checking out Mama Duck's WBW,
I decided to post these gems of me & my sister:
1) Disneyworld circa 1987, don't I have a nice poodle perm?
2) The two of us pretending we actually liked each other
And just for fun, enjoy the 80s Montage:
1) Camping & drinking games, ah the good ol' days
2) My junior yearbook photo
3) Me washing my first car: a 1981 Toyota Celica

my future husband; part deux

2005-11-22T12:16:00.000-06:00

If I could go back in time I would trade places with Nicole Kidman on the set of this movie: To Die For. Hello hot young badboy deliciousness...

*le sigh*

two things...

2005-11-22T10:35:00.000-06:00

...thanks to my dear sister. You may notice I have once again stolen some of her answers:

Two Names You Go By
1. Onion Booty
2. Nutcase

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. German
2. Native American

Two Things That Scare You
1. Sleeping with the windows open (hello Richard Ramirez)
2. Men in creepy costumes (think santa claus, clowns and mimes)

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Happy Pills
2. Coffee/Shower/Chapstick - it's a triple tie

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Trusty wifebeater
2. My favorite Hot Topic skull socks

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
1. The Killers
2. Interpol

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Spirituality
2. Safety

Two Truths
1. Change is the only constant in this life
2. Relationships are hard work

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. Hands
2. Eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. My pets
2. B&W photography

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. Feet that don't hurt
2. Pretty skin

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Tahiti
2. New Zealand

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Have a successful relationship
2. Find a fulfilling career

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick
1. I love nail polish, glitter, makeup, clothes & shoes
2. I cry at really goofy sh*t, like Mastercard commercials

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. I am very fragile and not nearly as "together" as people seem to think.
2. I want to be taken care of but I am uncomfortable receiving.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. I am grateful for my cushy state job.
2. I am so excited to have a four day weekend.

Two Stores You Shop At
1. Target
2. Old Navy (bleh)

Two people I haven't talked to in a while
1. Patricia P.
2. Jules M.

Two bloggers who may now dislike you for passing this on to them
Ruthie

my future husband

2005-11-18T10:21:00.000-06:00

YUMyumYUMyumYUM

where have you been?

2005-11-16T16:11:00.000-06:00

This is kinda fun: create your own visited states map

Here's where I've been!

what's up with that?

2005-11-16T12:36:00.000-06:00

Obviously I was a bit on the bizzz-izzzidy side this past week but here are some random thoughts that have been plaguing me; a.k.a. what's up with that?
1) Cheezy men wearing big gold wedding bands with channel set diamonds. I'm telling you, I see one almost every day in my building! People, this is not Long Island.
2) Ugg boots. I hate them, and they're MF expensive!
3) Enormous aviator glasses, do you really want to channel Tom Cruise circa Top Gun?
4) The return of the mullet and rattail? I kid you not, this past Sunday night I saw a "cool" guy sporting an honest-to-gosh-golly rattail, replete with bleached blond tip. If you are not familiar with the rattail, then clicky: dear god, are you for real?
5) worse still, the return of fur
6) the reappearance of bad 80s fashion; granted I love-love-love the 80s but the crap that is showing up on teenagers is scary. C'mon kids, legwarmers? Well I did hear that J-Lo was recreating scenes from Flashdance for one of her videos...
More later...
7) Short pants with ankle boots, BOO! Think Ashlee Simpson, yuck...

more about boys

2005-11-10T11:34:00.000-06:00

Some of you may remember back in August I had a post about some of my dating foibles. Well here is the latest installment in the exciting drama that is my life. On Saturday my ex-boyfriend (a.k.a. Great Disappointment; Winter '04) called to wish me a happy birthday. Ok people, I have not spoken to this man since the day I dumped his ass in early April. Please note: this is a man who relies on his dad to remind him when it is time to change his oil yet he can somehow remember my birthday eight months after we broke up? Now that is just weird. Even weirder is the fact that one of my best friends ran into him at a crafts show that afternoon and yet another one of my best friends ran into him at a restaurant two nights later. What is with the sudden resurfacing of the GDW'04???
And the plot thickens. I found out that one of the guys I was dating in the early part of summer is going to be moving in with a friend of mine who LIVES ON MY STREET. *sigh* That guy was nice but he was confoundingly flaky. I actually liked that guy and I really wish he wasn't going to be living a block away.
And the the coup de grace: the guy who said "We will make a great boyfriend-girlfriend couple one day" traded his 2005 Nissan Titan for some crack. His number was on my caller id three times yesterday; apparently he does not understand that Do Not Contact Me Ever means Even If You Lose Your Truck To A Crack Rock.

I am truly surrounded by winners. Or is that wieners?

Way Back Wednesday

2005-11-08T23:06:00.000-06:00

Do I really need words? I think this one speaks for itself...

meme - five things...

2005-11-08T18:12:00.000-06:00

(some I stole from my sister)

5 Things
15 years ago - I moved out on my own
11 years ago - I got my first dog
9 years ago - I bought a house
4 years ago - I made a major career change
Now - I'm learning to be happy as a worker among workers

Five yummy things:
1) triple cream cheeses
2) really strong coffee
3) coconut cream _____
4) boy smell
5) chocolate _____ (so cliche)

Five songs I know by heart:
1) Little Red Corvette
2) Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover
3) Private Dancer
4) ?
5) ? (I guess my memory for lyrics sucks?)

Five things I would do with a lot of money:
1) Buy a house with a master bathroom
2) Give to several charities
3) Get laser stuff done
4) Take a long trip somewhere
5) Pay off all my family members' debt

Five places I would to escape to:
1) Tahiti
2) New Zealand
3) Iceland
4) Austrailia
5) Nepal

Five things I would never wear:
1) tapered pants
2) vests of any sort
3) white linen pants
4) culottes
5) a mullet

Five favorite TV shows:
1) CSI Miami
2) NCIS
3) Sex & the City
4) Hunter
5) Queer Eye

Five things I enjoy doing:
1) having doggie luvin' time in the morning
2) drinking coffee leisurely
3) board games/crosswords
4) eating
5) riding my bike

Five Favorite toys:
1) computer
2) bike
3) cell phone
4) dvd player
5) we'll just call him Mr. Purple

Five people who get this meme:
Ruthie

on the road again...

2005-11-08T11:44:00.000-06:00

Crap.

According to my sister we are going to do the Hill Country Ride for AIDS again next year...if you're not familiar with the event then take a look: HCRA. Also, please check out my sister's explanation of what went down in 2004 (plus a great pic of Lou Diamond Phillips!): queen of napville's executive decision.
As much as I want to get off my lazy ass and do this thing; that lazy part of me is dreading all the hard work, flat tires, and sore buttcheeks that go into training for an event like this. The pay off is totally worth it though, I have never experienced anything quite so powerful.

Wish us luck, we will need it!

PoP Up art extravaganza Nov 16, 6pm - 9pm

2005-11-06T13:50:00.000-06:00

Dearest Blogger Friends-

Please join about 30 artists for a group show of mixed media art work. I would love to see a bunch of friendly faces at this show! It is at the Dougherty Arts Center; 1100 Barton Springs Road; Austin, TX.

Hope to see you there!