at long last, they are gone!

My awful neighbors finally moved out. No more trash in the carport or above ground pool in the summer, yay! The owner of the house told me he decided to sell the house because he was afraid that if he told them they had to move out they might burn the place down. That is just great. I though it was because the teenage daughter had a baby so they needed a bigger place.
In any case, they are officially gone and I am hoping some nice, sane people buy the house and move in. I even took down most of the fence!

holy crap, I did it!

As most of you know, my ex-boyfriend The Musician has been living with me since last October (2007). I can definitely say that it has been more of a pain in my ass than anything else. It all started when I let him move in rent-free & in return he was supposed to help me around the house with some small and large projects including painting my three bedrooms. Bad idea, as you can imagine. At some point he did start paying me some rent money. By April of this year he had only gotten two of them painted; as a result of me constantly riding his ass. I finally freaked the fuck out because I wanted them done before my "thank god I quit that suck-ass state job" party in early May. He did a shitty job, never painted the third bedroom & complained the whole time. *sigh*
Long story short, he currently owes me over $800 in rent & bill money and I can't even count on him to buy toilet paper when we're one roll away from running out. Amidst all this, he still believes he can convince me to marry him one day. Uh, yeah that might just happen...when hell freezes over!
So today the straw finally broke the camel's back, although it has been in the process of breaking for a mighty long time. I calmly told him that I wanted him out by January 16, when my spring semester starts. WOOT! I can't believe it. Thank god for all my wonderful girlfriends who kept validating my reality and reminding me that I will never have another date as long as my ex-boyfriend is sleeping in the next bedroom. Ugh, co-dependency is a bitch y'all!

no more ex-boyfriends and I meant it!

You may recall that I mentioned this summer that I was planning to meet an ex-boyfriend in Kauai. Well that turned into yet another disaster, go figure!

I have decided that my "recycling ex-boyfriends" phase is now officially over. They are usually our exes for a reason. In the immortal words of my friend M.P.L., "sex with exes is like eating your own vomit." Thankfully I did not put myself through that nasty experiment on my Hawaii vacation.

Here is a photo to illustrate what a child I was dealing with, a child who wore white linen pants. They don't even wear white linen pants on CSI Miami!

This guy was so obnoxious, at one point he actually joked that he is an "amateur gynecologist." Revolting!!! And to think, I had grand plans of finally getting some nookie in Hawaii, what was I thinking???

the fence is a reality!

Check out the awesome neighbor blocker:

I think they will leave me alone now.

fence raising

You may recall that I am not particularly fond of my next-door neighbors. The lady is always trying to talk to me, often walks around in a sports bra & cut-offs, the man (who sounds like Foghorn Leghorn) is always yelling at her and the18-year-old daughter (who seems very sweet, all things considered) has a new gangsta boyfriend every other week. Now they have a puppy that is cute as the dickens and I just know she's going to end up tied to a tree. Ergo, I have decided to erect a fence between our carports so I don't have to observe their nastiness every time I leave or come home or hang my laundry on the clothesline. I have all ready purchased all the necessary supplies. Stay tuned, pictures of said fence to follow soon.

here comes the onslaught...

I'm voting Republican... (please note sarcasm)

...and here's why you should too!

Updates...

In case anyone is still reading this blog, I realize I have been away for quite some time. Here is the quick & dirty synopsis of my life updates: I quit that job that I've been bitching about for four years (WOO-HOO!!!), I'm back in graduate school full time and The Musician (remember, third time was not a charm?) is now living with me as my fully plationic roommate (!!!) I'm going to Hawaii in August for eleven days to hook up with yet another ex-boyfriend and as a result I started going to a "boot camp" class at 5:30 a.m. WTF??? Well, I've gained about 30 lbs. since starting meds and discovering I cannot eat gluten so I'm trying to shed a bit of that before hitting the beach...among other things.
So to brush up on my dating skills I went out on a semi-blind date Sunday evening. By "brush up" I mean I haven't been on a date in nearly two years...since my fiasco with The Musician to be exact. By "semi-blind" I mean I met him online so I had seen a photo, emailed and spoken on the phone a couple of times. It was awful. Here is how it went down, it was one of those *experiments* where I knew in five minutes that it was going to suck and I wanted to leave. I was actually considering excusing myself to go to the restroom & then sneaking out! The guy is just a dork, and he's a sexist dork at that. He actually told me that he dumped a girl he was dating because of the Way She Set the Table [his mother would be appalled]!!! Then he went on to say...drum roll please..."Chicks should know these things." O.M.G. What an idiot. That was within the first ten minutes and I just wanted to run the hell out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour & a half and let him talk AT me about all of his opinions on life and his lame rehearsed jokes that you can tell he has told a million times to everyone he knows. Things like, "I can tell you what's wrong with the world today, in fact I can sum it up on two words [pause for dramatic effect] boat payment!!!" Hahaha, much laughter ensues and I'm supposed to act amused. I wanted to throw up.
He actually said it was fun & he had a great time and asked if he could call me when he gets back from his vacation. He suggested that he could take me sailing, UGH! Hours on a boat alone with that guy sounds like a nightmare. Of course I said yes because I'm chicken. I just sent him a message via email asking not to contact me. So, there you have it. One of my best girlfriends gave me these awesome words from the wise:

"I have the great response for you: When he contacts you tell him you have to be honest, you didn't go to school to learn how to set tables correctly, as it rates extremely low on your list of need-to-know skills "for chicks" like you. You wouldn't want to subject him to that horror again, so you think its best to spare him from your savagery. You wouldn't want to get "dumped" for not measuring up on such critical areas of interest to him.
And then....block!
PS -Really?? a guy who compares dates to his mother?? Her forks may be in the right place, but I bet his mother gave a terrible blow job. Anyway, wouldn't want to subject him to anything his Mommy would disapprove of."

I heart her.

IKEA photos

I still hate IKEA & Traemand but I think my kitchen looks great, if you can ignore the mess. Check out more photos on my flickr page.

I hate IKEA (& traemand)

Let me tell you a little bit about what has now become My Kitchen Upgrade Nightmare of 2007. I bought the design & measure service through Traemand, the installation company that IKEA recommends and that calls itself "an IKEA Certified Cabinet Installation company." Initially I had a good experience with Traemand, everyone at the office was nice and professional, as was the guy who came out to measure my kitchen. The designer helped me make the best use of my kitchen space although I'm fairly certain she just threw the dimensions into a computer program that spit out a design. I purchased my cabinets mid-August, the IKEA experience was a bit less enjoyable. The folks working there are all very nice and helpful but I think I was in there about 3-4 hours just placing the order! Their computer system does not seem very user friendly. The rest of the process goes like this: you take the order printout to the cashier and pay for the entire order. Then you proceed to the carry out window where they collect the many boxes of your cabinets in parts, then you arrange with the home delivery people to schedule a date to have your doors delivered as those come from a separate warehouse. Then you fax the purchase order to the designer at Traemand. Thankfully she understood all the IKEA part number gibberish and realized that they had neglected to order a couple of cabinets and a few doors. So the next weekend I make the trek back out to the store to order the missing parts. Lo & behold two of the doors were already out of stock! So I got what I could and scheduled the installations.
Now for the fun part. The Traemand installation was a nightmare from the get-go. According to them, it was supposed to be a two-day job for two people per day. The first day, Tuesday, only one guy showed up, the same guy who measured my kitchen. He managed to assemble all of the cabinets but had to stop there, obviously it would have been awfully difficult to hang cabinets by himself. That afternoon I called the office and expressed my concern that the installation would not be finished in the time they said it would be, a woman there assured me they would be sending FOUR people out on Wednesday to finish the job. I reiterated that it was very important that they finish because I had a handyman coming out on Thursday to reconnect the plumbing and the range so I could go out of town on Friday. Surprise, surprise, on Wednesday morning only two guys showed up to finish the job. They assured me they would easily be able to finish the job. Unfortunately, one of the guys was not as much interested in working as he was in flirting with me about anything and everything he could possibly think of. This is a guy who drove up in a hoopdie with handcuffs hanging from the rearview mirror. At some point I went in to check on their progress and I happened to notice that they had not left enough room for the refrigerator. As a result, they had to remove and reinstall an entire wall of cabinets. In addition, they put several gouges in my new tile floor, badly scraped a corner down to the sheetrock, and installed an entire bank of cabinets and countertop that was actually too deep. There were a few issues that came up do to errors in either the design or measure process that the installers did not bother to consult with me about. By they time they left at 7:00 pm I was seriously starting to feel unsafe in my own home and I just wanted them OUT! Over the next couple of days I spoke with the owner of the company was was willing to make some corrections but he did say that scraped walls were just par for the course and that the grout must have "bubbled after the installation." He sent two installers back the following Monday to correct the installation errors and they were very helpful.
Now back to IKEA. Remember those two door that were "out of stock" back in August? Well guess what? They are STILL OUT OF STOCK. I just called the store and when the associate told me that I had to try very hard not to lose it. He gave me the 800 number to "IKEA Direct" and the associate there told me that those two doors will not be in stock any earlier than the fifth week of next year. Let me also add that I have been waiting to put on the door handles and drawer pulls until the doors to come in because the Traemand guys offered to throw that in with the door installation, it's not included but maybe they felt like they owed me one. So for over three months I have had to find creative ways to open my flush cabinets and drawers. If they came pre-drilled I would have put the stupid things on myself. However, I am not willing to risk ruining $120 doors.
I find all of this to be ridulous, unprofessional and unacceptable and I hope you will let my experience be your cautionary tale.

cutest video ever

more police brutality

In case you don't live here or you don't watch the news, a terrible thing happened in Austin last weekend. An APD officer shot a man twice in the back. I happen to work with the victim's mother and have known her for over three years. My heart aches so much for her and her family and I feel so helpless. I don't have children of my own but I know that no one thinks they will outlive their own. Please keep their family in your thoughts during this difficult time.
Thankfully, the justice department was already going to investigate APD for their history of using excessive force. I hope that this will stop things like giving cops promotions when they have a history of this kind of being violent.
Edit: Here is another good article from the Austin Chronicle. Also, the acting police chief Cathy Ellison states, "'One of the things in our policy is we don't shoot at fleeing suspects,' Ellison said. 'We don't shoot at cars, fleeing cars. You have to know that you're in danger for your life or someone else's. If it looks that someone is running away from you, then that person may not be a danger. So if it looks [like] he shot him in the back, and he's running away, then of course it looks inconsistent with policy'"
Good to know.

medical procedure

This is what I had done on Tuesday, fun!

flashback

you're welcome (my favorite part is the bartender)

office space, part deux

The Office Space saga continues, I can't believe this is really happening. I actually have a meeting tomorrow with The Bobs!!!
"The purpose of the Focus Group will be to allow you to provide input on a number of topics that include your work environment, the overall direction of the Division, and the overall direction of the Agency. Your participation is a critical component in establishing open communication channels to understand employee issues and concerns. The sessions will be facilitated by Bob One and Bob Two of Deliotte Consulting and there is no advance preparation required. We look forward to your parcipation."
I wonder if I'm going to have to justify my job?

played like a sucka

I guess I was overdue for a bit of boy drama. Before this past Saturday night it had been approximately seven months since I had any sort of male physical contact. I made plans with a male friend of mine who I have had a crush on (off & on) for the past four years. We get along great, have a lot of fun together and are obviously attracted to each other. Long story short, we ended up on my couch watching a movie and he finally put the moves on me. No, we didn’t do the nasty but he did spend the night…in my bed. The next morning we had coffee in bed which was very sweet. I made him breakfast and while I was scrambling the eggs he started telling me about some eighteen year old girl who likes him. Say what? That’s just rude! If I’m making you breakfast in my PJs, please don’t have the audacity to talk to me about some other chick. A little common courtesy would be much appreciated. I knew something was off so I text messaged him later in the day: “So do you make out with all your girlfriends when you’re feeling lonely?” His response: “Yes.” Good to know. I can tell you the make-out-session-out-of-convenience/desperation will not be happening again! I stopped doing that crap when I quit drinking. I sure do feel like a chump.

too funny

More from the eighteen-year-old kid:
Date: Monday, April 16, 2007 1:22 PM
Subject: hey
Message: hey just saw some of ur pics and wow ur sexy as hell...nice body girl so ur sexy ass got aim or msn?

I could have given birth to this kid.

the male privilege checklist

Food for thought.

cat trick

Rufus rules, just watch the video evidence, sorry the quality is so crappy, I'm just learning how to use this thing:

wtn, pt. 3

It just keeps getting better and better! You'll notice they have added a dish, an overturned loveseat (in front of the couch) and a desk in the carport. It's times like this a neighborhood association would come in handy!