holy crap, I did it!

As most of you know, my ex-boyfriend The Musician has been living with me since last October (2007). I can definitely say that it has been more of a pain in my ass than anything else. It all started when I let him move in rent-free & in return he was supposed to help me around the house with some small and large projects including painting my three bedrooms. Bad idea, as you can imagine. At some point he did start paying me some rent money. By April of this year he had only gotten two of them painted; as a result of me constantly riding his ass. I finally freaked the fuck out because I wanted them done before my "thank god I quit that suck-ass state job" party in early May. He did a shitty job, never painted the third bedroom & complained the whole time. *sigh*
Long story short, he currently owes me over $800 in rent & bill money and I can't even count on him to buy toilet paper when we're one roll away from running out. Amidst all this, he still believes he can convince me to marry him one day. Uh, yeah that might just happen...when hell freezes over!
So today the straw finally broke the camel's back, although it has been in the process of breaking for a mighty long time. I calmly told him that I wanted him out by January 16, when my spring semester starts. WOOT! I can't believe it. Thank god for all my wonderful girlfriends who kept validating my reality and reminding me that I will never have another date as long as my ex-boyfriend is sleeping in the next bedroom. Ugh, co-dependency is a bitch y'all!

no more ex-boyfriends and I meant it!

You may recall that I mentioned this summer that I was planning to meet an ex-boyfriend in Kauai. Well that turned into yet another disaster, go figure!

I have decided that my "recycling ex-boyfriends" phase is now officially over. They are usually our exes for a reason. In the immortal words of my friend M.P.L., "sex with exes is like eating your own vomit." Thankfully I did not put myself through that nasty experiment on my Hawaii vacation.

Here is a photo to illustrate what a child I was dealing with, a child who wore white linen pants. They don't even wear white linen pants on CSI Miami!

This guy was so obnoxious, at one point he actually joked that he is an "amateur gynecologist." Revolting!!! And to think, I had grand plans of finally getting some nookie in Hawaii, what was I thinking???

the fence is a reality!

Check out the awesome neighbor blocker:

I think they will leave me alone now.

fence raising

You may recall that I am not particularly fond of my next-door neighbors. The lady is always trying to talk to me, often walks around in a sports bra & cut-offs, the man (who sounds like Foghorn Leghorn) is always yelling at her and the18-year-old daughter (who seems very sweet, all things considered) has a new gangsta boyfriend every other week. Now they have a puppy that is cute as the dickens and I just know she's going to end up tied to a tree. Ergo, I have decided to erect a fence between our carports so I don't have to observe their nastiness every time I leave or come home or hang my laundry on the clothesline. I have all ready purchased all the necessary supplies. Stay tuned, pictures of said fence to follow soon.

here comes the onslaught...

I'm voting Republican... (please note sarcasm)

...and here's why you should too!

Updates...

In case anyone is still reading this blog, I realize I have been away for quite some time. Here is the quick & dirty synopsis of my life updates: I quit that job that I've been bitching about for four years (WOO-HOO!!!), I'm back in graduate school full time and The Musician (remember, third time was not a charm?) is now living with me as my fully plationic roommate (!!!) I'm going to Hawaii in August for eleven days to hook up with yet another ex-boyfriend and as a result I started going to a "boot camp" class at 5:30 a.m. WTF??? Well, I've gained about 30 lbs. since starting meds and discovering I cannot eat gluten so I'm trying to shed a bit of that before hitting the beach...among other things.
So to brush up on my dating skills I went out on a semi-blind date Sunday evening. By "brush up" I mean I haven't been on a date in nearly two years...since my fiasco with The Musician to be exact. By "semi-blind" I mean I met him online so I had seen a photo, emailed and spoken on the phone a couple of times. It was awful. Here is how it went down, it was one of those *experiments* where I knew in five minutes that it was going to suck and I wanted to leave. I was actually considering excusing myself to go to the restroom & then sneaking out! The guy is just a dork, and he's a sexist dork at that. He actually told me that he dumped a girl he was dating because of the Way She Set the Table [his mother would be appalled]!!! Then he went on to say...drum roll please..."Chicks should know these things." O.M.G. What an idiot. That was within the first ten minutes and I just wanted to run the hell out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour & a half and let him talk AT me about all of his opinions on life and his lame rehearsed jokes that you can tell he has told a million times to everyone he knows. Things like, "I can tell you what's wrong with the world today, in fact I can sum it up on two words [pause for dramatic effect] boat payment!!!" Hahaha, much laughter ensues and I'm supposed to act amused. I wanted to throw up.
He actually said it was fun & he had a great time and asked if he could call me when he gets back from his vacation. He suggested that he could take me sailing, UGH! Hours on a boat alone with that guy sounds like a nightmare. Of course I said yes because I'm chicken. I just sent him a message via email asking not to contact me. So, there you have it. One of my best girlfriends gave me these awesome words from the wise:

"I have the great response for you: When he contacts you tell him you have to be honest, you didn't go to school to learn how to set tables correctly, as it rates extremely low on your list of need-to-know skills "for chicks" like you. You wouldn't want to subject him to that horror again, so you think its best to spare him from your savagery. You wouldn't want to get "dumped" for not measuring up on such critical areas of interest to him.
And then....block!
PS -Really?? a guy who compares dates to his mother?? Her forks may be in the right place, but I bet his mother gave a terrible blow job. Anyway, wouldn't want to subject him to anything his Mommy would disapprove of."

I heart her.

IKEA photos

I still hate IKEA & Traemand but I think my kitchen looks great, if you can ignore the mess. Check out more photos on my flickr page.