I'm voting Republican...

...and here's why you should too!

Updates...

In case anyone is still reading this blog, I realize I have been away for quite some time. Here is the quick & dirty synopsis of my life updates: I quit that job that I've been bitching about for four years (WOO-HOO!!!), I'm back in graduate school full time and The Musician (remember, third time was not a charm?) is now living with me as my fully plationic roommate (!!!) I'm going to Hawaii in August for eleven days to hook up with yet another ex-boyfriend and as a result I started going to a "boot camp" class at 5:30 a.m. WTF??? Well, I've gained about 30 lbs. since starting meds and discovering I cannot eat gluten so I'm trying to shed a bit of that before hitting the beach...among other things.
So to brush up on my dating skills I went out on a semi-blind date Sunday evening. By "brush up" I mean I haven't been on a date in nearly two years...since my fiasco with The Musician to be exact. By "semi-blind" I mean I met him online so I had seen a photo, emailed and spoken on the phone a couple of times. It was awful. Here is how it went down, it was one of those *experiments* where I knew in five minutes that it was going to suck and I wanted to leave. I was actually considering excusing myself to go to the restroom & then sneaking out! The guy is just a dork, and he's a sexist dork at that. He actually told me that he dumped a girl he was dating because of the Way She Set the Table [his mother would be appalled]!!! Then he went on to say...drum roll please..."Chicks should know these things." O.M.G. What an idiot. That was within the first ten minutes and I just wanted to run the hell out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour & a half and let him talk AT me about all of his opinions on life and his lame rehearsed jokes that you can tell he has told a million times to everyone he knows. Things like, "I can tell you what's wrong with the world today, in fact I can sum it up on two words [pause for dramatic effect] boat payment!!!" Hahaha, much laughter ensues and I'm supposed to act amused. I wanted to throw up.
He actually said it was fun & he had a great time and asked if he could call me when he gets back from his vacation. He suggested that he could take me sailing, UGH! Hours on a boat alone with that guy sounds like a nightmare. Of course I said yes because I'm chicken. I just sent him a message via email asking not to contact me. So, there you have it. One of my best girlfriends gave me these awesome words from the wise:

"I have the great response for you: When he contacts you tell him you have to be honest, you didn't go to school to learn how to set tables correctly, as it rates extremely low on your list of need-to-know skills "for chicks" like you. You wouldn't want to subject him to that horror again, so you think its best to spare him from your savagery. You wouldn't want to get "dumped" for not measuring up on such critical areas of interest to him.
And then....block!
PS -Really?? a guy who compares dates to his mother?? Her forks may be in the right place, but I bet his mother gave a terrible blow job. Anyway, wouldn't want to subject him to anything his Mommy would disapprove of."

I heart her.