captain joe

Earlier in the month I posted about placing an online personal ad. Not surprisingly, it has not been very successful. This evening I got a message from a guy whose profile headline states, "Firstmate Needed to Have FUN !!!!!!"
Under the heading "Why You Should Get to Know Me" he proclaims:

“Hello out their...... single, active Captain looking for Fristmate. I love the lake with sunsets...Water is great....Dining on my vessel with freinds & mate." [oh look, he’s a poet!]

Then under the heading "More About What I Am Looking For" he expounds:

"Looking for Firstmate to enjoy the lake life, Will train to assist in boating ....looking for a girl that enjoys dancing, boating, hanging out on Housboat ...enjoying the weekend Music & Sunsets. Adventure is their, Fun is their, Moonlite cruises are their, Just need you their..........See Ya......."

This is a forty-year-old man who purportedly has a four-year college degree and that is the best he can come up with? Word to the wise: if you're going to use the same pronoun four times in quick succession, be sure you're using the correct one.
In his super charming note to me he wrote,

“Hi How is your day been, do you like sunsets on Lake Travis...The weather is getting nice & the water is great... Tell me a litle more about you?
See Ya Captain Joe”

Aye, aye, Cap’n, my heart is aflutter.

Freakin’ Lovely.