It all started with the bake sale "nachos" I succumbed to at about 10:00 this morning. Here at the State "nachos" means tortilla chips smothered in a boring yet surprisingly salty queso cheese presented as an appropriate mid-morning bake sale item. Grodine.
The heartburn was furthered along considerably by something that started as a message I received in one of my six email accounts. That's right I said six. I know people, I have a problem. Flashback to yesterday: following some advice I recently received, I decided to post a personal ad in one of our local online rags. I productively used my work time and generous internet access to carefully craft a cutesy ad. Cut to today: the message winking at me from my inbox was letting me know someone had responded to my ad. Yippee! So soon! My picture must be cuter than I think! My responses to the canned questions must have been Oh So Witty! I can't wait to see this guy!
*sigh* I should have known. Three major Deal Breakers:
1) The dude is 49 (I put a generous 45 as the oldest man I'm looking for. 49 is closer to my dad's age than mine)
2) He is Conservative (I am Liberal)
3) He is Christian (I am Spiritual, not Religious)
Now on Deal Breaker #3 I am willing to bend the rules a little, except when coupled with Deal Breaker #2. When I hear the words "Conservative Christian" paired together I can't help but hear "Pro Life" echoing in the not too distant background. He also said he likes to hang out at Carlos and Charlie's and sunbathes in the nude. One of his answers to a canned question? "I wouldn't sell my body for a billion dollars."
Two words: ew and ew.
2 comments:
I love that this guy gave you heartburn and gastrointestinal distress!
are you crazy?? there is nothing hotter than a 49 year old republican subathing in the nude! why are you holding out, girl? give me his number!
i signed up for an online dating service, but am starting to lose interest because i specifically put in my profile 25-36 y/o. i got a message from a 60 year old man! wtf is he thinking? in his picture he was holding a baseball bat and all i could think about was that SNL commercial "Oops I crapped my pants". Not attractive. No sir.
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