more on dating

So I was reading a post from one of my favorite blogs and it got me thinking, what am I doing with boys? I guess the question is moot because I'm not really doing a goddamn thing with any boys whatsoever. However, I sure do spend a lot of mental energy thinking about them...so much so that I believe it qualifies as obsessing. I heard a woman say last night that she mentally "engages" without actually engaging with another person. She meant that she engages in the obsessive thinking about someone else and lets them take up space rent free in her brain. That's what I'm doing with boys. I think I am addicted to obsessing, I can find anything to wrap my brain around and not let go. I can understand one reason why people in my club go out, it's really hard to date when you get sober and you don't want to date within the club. I try to think of those boys as "close blood kin" which makes it quite unpalatable to consider them dating partners. So where does a sober girl go to meet boys? I can’t go to the dog park because my dogs are the “problem children" on the playground and the other parents end up scowling at me with disdain. It just turns into a shame spiral and does nothing productive for any of us.
See, I used to have no problems in the dating department. Well, that’s not entirely true, I had plenty of problems with the boys I did date but I didn’t really have a problem getting a date. I have even had a few longish relationships, and by “longish” I mean one to two years. At this juncture I have only had two shortish relationships, if you can even call them that, in the past four years. And by “shortish” I mean four to six months. That is some serious dry time my friends.
I realize I probably sound like I’m desperately hunting for a husband but really, I’m not. I would just like to go on some fun dates, have some tawdry make out sessions, hold a boy’s hand and smell his neck. I don’t think that’s too much to ask!